Feeling overwhelmed is an extremely common experience for teenagers. With high school, friends, family, and the future weighing on their minds, it's no wonder teens often feel like there is too much on their plate. When feelings of anxiety, sadness, or being out of control start to creep in, it's important for teens to have healthy coping skills.

That's where Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, can help. DBT is a type of therapy that teaches skills to handle painful emotions and decrease conflict in relationships. It was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder, but the skills have been found helpful for people of all ages.

In this article, we'll explore 3 DBT skills that can help teens feel less overwhelmed when emotions start to spiral out of control. By learning how to be mindful, take opposite action, and check the facts, overwhelmed teens can get back to a calmer state of mind.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment. It involves tuning into your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and environment without judging or reacting to them. Practicing mindfulness can provide major benefits for overwhelmed teens who are struggling with difficult emotions.

When we get caught up in feelings of stress, anxiety or depression, we often go into autopilot mode and stop paying attention to the present. Mindfulness helps us to center ourselves in the here-and-now. Staying grounded in the present moment prevents us from fixating on past regrets or future worries that fuel anxiety and negative thought spirals. It allows us to calmly accept our thoughts and feelings instead of being controlled by them.

Some simple mindfulness exercises for teens include:

- Mindful breathing - Focus your full attention on your breathing. Notice the rise and fall of your stomach and chest with each inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, gently return your focus to your breath.

- Five senses - Take in your surroundings using your five senses. Look around and notice 5 things you see. Listen closely and note 4 sounds. Feel the texture of 3 objects. Smell 2 aromas. Taste 1 flavor. Stay fully present with each sense.

- Body scan - Slowly scan your body from head to toe, paying attention to any sensations in each part of your body. Notice any areas of tension or relaxation without judging them.

Regular mindfulness practice can rewire an overwhelmed teen brain to stay calm and focused. Just taking a few minutes each day to tune into the present without judgment can provide emotional relief and balance. With time, mindfulness can become an automatic coping response to feelings of stress.

Opposite Action

Opposite action is a DBT skill that can help teens manage overwhelming emotions by doing the opposite of their urges. When teens feel an intense emotion, they often have an urge to act in destructive ways like yelling, crying, or shutting down. Opposite action teaches them to stop, notice their emotion, identify the urge, and then do the opposite.

For example, if a teen feels extremely angry and has an urge to scream at someone, opposite action would be speaking in a calm, soft voice. If a teen feels lonely and has an urge to isolate themselves in their room, opposite action would be to call a friend. The key is to notice the emotion, pause, and then consciously choose to act opposite to the urge.

Some examples of using opposite action:

- Feeling depressed and wanting to stay in bed -> Get up and engage in an activity

- Feeling anxious and having urges to avoid something -> Face the anxiety and do it anyway

- Feeling irritated and having criticism on the tip of your tongue -> Speak kindly instead

Opposite action works by interrupting the cycle of giving in to destructive emotional urges. It puts teens back in control of their behaviors. With practice, they get better at managing their emotions in productive ways.

Check the Facts

The Check the Facts DBT skill can help overwhelmed teenagers step back and evaluate situations more objectively. This skill involves examining thoughts and assumptions to determine if they are facts or opinions.

For example, if a teen is feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork, they may think "I'll never get this done" or "I'm too far behind to catch up." With Check the Facts, they can evaluate whether these thoughts are objectively true by asking questions like:

- Is there evidence this is a fact?

- Could there be another explanation?

- What advice would I give someone else in this situation?

By scrutinizing their assumptions in this way, teens may realize the situation is not hopeless. There are likely ways to break the work into smaller steps, get an extension, or get help. What felt overwhelming starts to feel more manageable.

Check the Facts can also help when teens feel overwhelmed in social situations, like thinking no one likes them or that they ruined a friendship. Examining the facts around those thoughts can reveal a less dire reality and bring some relief.

This skill empowers teens to challenge cognitive distortions when emotions are running high. It provides a way to step back, evaluate objectively, and regain perspective when feeling overwhelmed.

Use PLEASE Master to Improve Interpersonal Effectiveness

One of the most useful DBT skills for teens is called PLEASE Master. It's an acronym that stands for:

- **P** - Be **P**olite. Show courtesy, manners and kindness in all interactions. Avoid sarcasm, hostile tones, yelling or blaming.

- **L** - Use active **L**istening skills. Maintain eye contact, ask questions, paraphrase and reflect what the other person is saying to show understanding. Don't interrupt or be distracted.

- **E** - Express your opinion or perspective using **E**mpathy. Try to understand the other person's emotions and point of view, even if you disagree.

- **A** - **A**ssert yourself respectfully. Calmly state your needs, wants, preferences, or differences without aggression or passive aggression. Use "I feel..." statements.

- **S** - Be ready to **S**tay on topic and not get distracted in heated discussions. Keep the conversation focused.

- **E** - **E**xamine the problem, not the person. Address the issue at hand without making negative judgments about the other person.

Using PLEASE Master can help teens communicate effectively and avoid emotionally-charged conflicts in tense conversations with parents, teachers, or peers. For example, if a teen is upset with a friend who failed to invite them to a party, instead of calling them hurtful names, they could use PLEASE Master. They can calmly explain "I feel left out and hurt that I wasn't invited to your party. In the future, I'd appreciate if you let me know about these things." This gets the message across without attacking the friend's character. Regular practice of PLEASE Master helps teens become more mindful, assertive communicators.

Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is a DBT skill that can be very beneficial for overwhelmed teenagers. It involves fully accepting reality as it is in the present moment, without judging it or wishing it was different.

For teens who feel overloaded, practicing radical acceptance of the present circumstances can reduce suffering. Rather than fighting reality or ruminating on how things "should" be, radical acceptance allows us to move forward.

Some tips for teens to practice radical acceptance when feeling overwhelmed:

- Notice difficult thoughts and emotions without judgment. Silently say "I accept this is how I feel right now."

- Accept situations and circumstances as they are, rather than wishing they were different. Say "It is what it is" or "This is what I'm dealing with now."

- Let go of blame and "shoulds." Remind yourself "I accept this event has occurred and cannot be changed."

- Focus on controlling only what is within your power, and accept what isn't. Say "I accept the things I cannot change."

- Pay attention to the present moment, rather than what you think "should" happen in the future. Say "Right now, this is what is."

While radical acceptance is challenging, it gets easier with practice. By fully accepting rather than fighting reality, overwhelmed teens can reduce their suffering and take steps forward.

Self-Soothe

The self-soothe skill teaches teens to calm themselves down when feeling overwhelmed or distressed. This is an important emotional regulation skill. Some ways teens can self-soothe include:

- **Deep breathing** - Taking slow, deep breaths helps calm the body down. Teens can breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth. Counting to 5 while breathing in and out can help them slow their breath.

- **Progressive muscle relaxation**- Tensing and relaxing muscle groups one by one reduces tension in the body. Teens might start with their toes and feet, move up to their legs and hips, then to their fingers, arms and shoulders, focusing on tensing and relaxing each area.

- **Soothing imagery** - Imagining being in a calm, peaceful place, like a beach or forest, can help transport the mind and relax the body. Teens can picture somewhere they enjoy and engage all their senses, seeing the sights, hearing the sounds, smelling and tasting the environment.

- **Listen to calming music** - Soft, soothing music without lyrics can help calm the nervous system. Teens might make a relaxing playlist to listen to when feeling stressed.

- **Take a warm bath or shower** - Allowing the warm water to flow over them can promote relaxation. Adding Epsom salts or essential oils enhances the calming effects.

- **Yoga and light stretches** - Gentle movement helps release tension from the body. Neck rolls, shoulder rolls and cat/cow poses are easy for teens to do anytime.

The self-soothe skill gives teens tools to independently calm themselves down from distress. This allows them to regulate their emotions, cope with stress and avoid feeling overwhelmed. With practice, self-soothing can become an automatic response for teens when faced with emotional triggers. Learning this lifelong skill leads to better emotional and mental health.

Half-Smiling

Half-smiling is a simple but powerful DBT skill that can help improve teens' moods. The physical act of smiling, even when you don't feel like it, can shift your emotional state in a more positive direction.

The reason half-smiling works is due to the mind-body connection. When you smile, your brain receives signals that you're happy even if you're not. This activates a feedback loop where your improved mood leads to more natural smiling.

Half-smiling tips for teens:

- Practice half-smiling for 30 seconds right when you wake up and before bedtime. Smiling when you first wake up sets a positive tone for your day.

- Smile gently to yourself during stressful situations. Keep the smile subtle, like the Mona Lisa. This can diffuse strong emotions.

- Smile at least 3 times when looking in the mirror. Smiling at your reflection can boost self-confidence.

- Smile with your eyes by raising your cheeks. A true "Duchenne smile" engages the muscles around the eyes.

- Picture someone or something that makes you smile naturally. Thoughts influence feelings, so think of a funny video or a cute puppy.

- Smile slowly, as if you're taking bite of something delicious. A relaxed, unforced smile is most effective.

Half-smiling, even when you least feel like it, activates positive changes in your brain and body. With practice, it can become an automatic mood booster for overwhelmed teens.

Applying These DBT Skills to Daily Life

In this blog post, we covered three key DBT skills that therapists often teach teens struggling with feeling overwhelmed - mindfulness, opposite action, and check the facts.

Mindfulness helps teens get better in touch with their present emotions, rather than being caught up in rumination about the past or anxiety about the future. Practicing mindfulness meditation and other mindful awareness activities can give overwhelmed teens needed space and perspective.

Using opposite action urges teens to act opposite to the urges of their overwhelming emotions. This skill helps teens calm down strong emotions like anger or fear by acting counter to them. Opposite action provides overwhelmed teens with a sense of control.

Check the facts guides overwhelmed teens to separate fact from fiction when their emotions exaggerate or catastrophize situations. This DBT skill teaches overwhelmed teens to analyze situations logically and identify the difference between feelings and facts.

Learning and practicing these three DBT skills of mindfulness, opposite action, and check the facts can provide overwhelmed teens with practical tools to better manage difficult emotions. If your teenager struggles with feeling overwhelmed, consider exploring DBT treatment with a licensed therapist. The right professional support can make a tremendous difference in helping overwhelmed teens build essential coping skills.

Teen Therapy in Missouri

If your teen is feeling overwhelmed by emotions and daily stressors, the skills learned in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can offer powerful, lasting tools for emotional regulation and coping. At Aspire Counseling, our compassionate therapists specialize in working with a wide range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, OCD, trauma, grief, and LGBTQ+ issues. Whether your teen needs support with mindfulness, opposite action, checking the facts, or other mental health concerns, we are here to provide the guidance they need to thrive. Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can help your teen, or anyone in your family, regain balance and well-being. We offer in-person sessions in Lee’s Summit and Columbia, MO, as well as online therapy to anyone in Missouri.