Author’s Note: My 8 year old son is currently homeschooling (thanks Covid-no truly thank you as it’s been a great experience) and I wanted to give another chance to practice finding information in a text. Since he has a history of anxiety and I’m a therapist I figured, why not write something about anxiety for him? So, this is a short piece I wrote for us to use for school. And now, I’m sharing it to help other children have some basic information about anxiety.

Your heart is beating. Your thoughts are coming so fast you can’t come up. Maybe you feel like hiding from whatever is making you feel this way.

 This is Anxiety.

Anxiety Can Be Helpful

It’s normal to feel anxious sometimes. In fact, anxiety can be helpful sometimes.  If you are crossing the street and you feel a little bit nervous, you might be extra careful. When you look both ways an extra time, you may see a car coming and wait before you cross the street. Your anxiety kept you safe! 

Or, if someone says something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you may feel anxious being around them. Then, you may talk to your parents or another adult who can talk to you about how to respond to that person.

As another example, you may feel a little anxious when you see a wasp flying around outside. Because you feel your heart racing and have a thought of, “That wasp could sting me,” you choose to play in a different part of the yard. Because you play somewhere else, you are safe.

In all these situations, your anxiety was helpful. Anxiety was your friend. 

Anxiety Can Be Unhelpful           

Sometimes, your anxiety can be unhelpful. It can cause some problems. Maybe you feel SO anxious that you can’t move. Or you feel anxious about something that is actually safe. Perhaps you are even starting to avoid things (like school) because of your anxiety. Or you feel worried to talk to a new friend so you sit by yourself instead of having fun and getting to know someone new.

What Can I Do When I Feel Anxious?

The good news is that there are a lot of different things you can do to calm your brain down when you feel anxious. We call these coping skills. When a coping skill works, you may still feel a little anxious. But the anxiety will be smaller and you’ll be able to think a little more clearly. Sometimes you have to try more than one coping skill. So, it’s important to know several different options. Let’s talk about some common coping skills for anxiety.

Take 10 Deep Breaths

A great coping skill to start with is to take 10 deep breaths! Each time you breathe, imagine bringing the air all the way into your belly so your belly fills up with air. Also, try to breathe in and out slowly.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Grounding

This coping skill uses your 5 senses! You start with noticing 5 things around you that you can see. Name each thing you see. 

Next, notice 4 different things you can feel. Perhaps you notice how your shirt feels on your shoulder or you can feel the solidness of the ground below your feet.

Then, notice 3 things you can hear.  If you don’t hear things things at first, try listening really, really closely. Maybe you hear your air conditioner working, someone talking in another room or a bird outside. 

Next up is your sense of smell.  This one can be tricky as one smell can sometimes overwhelm your nose.  So, be patient and just carefully notice any smells. If you’re able to smell two different things, that’s great. But if you only smell one thing, that is ok. 

Last, try to notice one taste. If you have a piece of gum or mint near you, go ahead and put that in your mouth and notice the taste. 

Draw a Picture or Write a Story 

If you are worried about something specific, try to write a story or draw a picture of it going well. For example, if you are worried you’ll mess up in an upcoming basketball game you could draw a picture of yourself making a goal. Or, if you are worried about flying on an airplane for your family vacation you can write a story about going on an airplane and having a really good time. 

Talk to a Grown Up

If you’ve tried some of these activities and maybe some other coping skills you know but still feel anxious, it may be time to talk to a grown up. Your parents, teacher or another trusted adult may be able to help. Perhaps the adult can talk to you about some of the coping skills they use. Or they may talk to you about working with someone who’s an expert in anxiety called a therapist or counselor.

Anxiety: The Short Story

 In summary, anxiety is a very normal feeling to have. Sometimes, anxiety is helpful. Sometimes, too much anxiety gets in the way of doing things you want or need to do. When you do feel anxious, there are a lot of different coping skills you can use. And if you still feel like your anxiety is getting in the way you can always tell a parent, teacher or grown up how you feel. They might be able to give you other coping skills to try. Or, they may take you to talk to someone who is an expert on anxiety called a therapist.

About the Author

Jessica Tappana is the founder & director of Aspire Counseling. As a therapist, Jessica specializes in anxiety treatment (including social anxiety, panic attacks, phobias & OCD) & trauma therapy using evidence based counseling techniques such as EMDR, CPT & ERP. She used to regularly work with kids as young as 5 but her personal therapy caseload currently focuses on older teens & adults through retirement. She offers anxiety treatment both online to anyone physically located in Missouri. During the coronavirus pandemic, most sessions are offered online, but she does offer some in person with precautions in Columbia-particularly when it’s needed to get the most out of exposure work for anxiety. She’s seen first hand the power of counseling and therapy to help people of all ages face their anxiety & gain control over their own life.