Parenting is tough work. It can be stressful, tiring and emotionally draining. For parents who are feeling really stressed out, it can seem impossible to find time for self care. But taking the time to prioritize your mental health isn't just good for you; it's necessary if you want to provide a healthy environment for your kids as well! I dove a lot deeper into the importance of prioritizing your own mental health as a parent in my last blog post. But it may have left your with the question, "Ok, but HOW do I prioritize my mental health?" Or your bring may have argued with me saying, "That's great and all, but there's no way I have time to care about my own mental health and get everything done that my family relies on me to do.

The truth is, most parents I know are incredibly busy. It's almost like being busy is part of the job description for parents. Yet, I'd still argue that you can and should prioritize your mental health. It just takes a bit of creativity, flexibility and willingness to shift your perspective a bit.

Ways to Prioritize Your Own Mental Health....Quickly!

Below are some really quick ways that you can start acknowledging your own stress and mental health concerns, prioritize your own wellbeing and take small steps to improve your mental health (manage anxiety, live with grief, improve mood, etc) even in the midst of keeping the house in order, getting everyone shuttled to where they need to be, work, doctor's appointments and all your other day to day stressors.

Take a break from social media, especially if you're feeling down or comparison-itis is kicking in.

Let's face it: Social Media is both a positive and negative force in most parents lives. It allows you to share photos of your children with loved ones who lives far away. It's a great resource to turn to when you need support or are looking for resources to help your child.

But it can also start the comparison game where you see the very best parts of someone else's life and it may leave you thinking, "Why don't I ever have time to make those five course meals for my family?" Or, "Am I a bad mom because my kids don't get outside as often as my sister's children?" And these comparison's are rarely good for your mental health.

Or it's a time suck. Social Media can allow you to zone the rest of the world out. Which feels nice at the moment. But if you do it too often you may end up more stressed because you didn't get the other million things done on your list.

So, consider taking some time away from your phone and especially away from social media.

Read a book or write in your journal for 20 minutes before bed

Some people find it really helpful to journal. In fact, a LOT of my clients have found journaling very empowering. It's a great way to express your thoughts and feelings and give your brain time to process experiences you've been through or organize things that have been percolating under the surface of your mind all day.

Other people gain more from reading books. Perhaps a self help book or parenting book might be motivating to read a bit each night. Or maybe a fictional romance novel where you can mentally leave behind the stress of your day is a better fit. Either way, this can be a great way to wind down your mind.

Invest time each day to do something that brings you joy outside of parenting

So often parents can almost lose themselves in their parenting. But you are a person outside of being a mom or parent. So, acknowledge that. Find small ways to just be YOU. Take a walk, call a friend, take yourself out to lunch/dinner, workout at the gym, paint, etc. And this doesn't have to be an epic time commitment. It can literally just be a few minutes of you doing something that brings you joy.

Practice some deep breathing exercises

Breathing exercises can be particularly useful when you start to feel overwhelmed. However, I recommend practicing some sort of breathing exercise on a regular basis. It will help you manage your anxiety and improve your mood. And it only takes a quick minute or two!

Remind yourself that parenting isn't about right and wrong

It's easy to be hard on yourself or to think about how you wish you would've handled a situation differently after the fact. But remember, there is no "one way" to parent  You need to do what works for YOUR family. No one can tell you how often/much/hardly/etc your kids should nap, go to bed at night. And so, you do the best you can in any given moment. It's normal to look back even 10 minutes later and wish you said or did something different. But the truth is you can't change the past. So, validate that you did the best you could.

Acknowledge & validate your own emotions

It can be really easy to brush off your feelings or feel irritable for no reason. But you must acknowledge and validate how you're feeling at any given time. Even if your busy. Even if your emotions aren't exactly positive right now.

For example, if you are feeling sad about something someone said to you at the grocery store, tell yourself: 'I'm hurting right now." This is small and only takes a moment. But it's powerful. Because the more you acknowledge how you feel, the better you can cope with those feelings.

Talk About Your Feelings

Talk openly about how you're feeling with your partner, friends or even online communities made specifically for parents who are struggling. It can be really helpful to talk with other people who are going through similar things. Plus, it feels nice to know you're not alone in this parenting gig!

Learn something new or otherwise build mastery

Building mastery is one of my favorite "coping skills." I guess it's not really a skill that helps you cope in the moment. Rather, it's like a preventative coping skill. Essentially, the idea is to find something you can feel accomplished doing.

So much of parenting is unpredictable. And while there are moments that feel incredibly rewarding, there are also many moments where you'll feel like a failure, second guess yourself, and feel completely helpless. I wish there was a way around it. But there's not. And when much of your identity is wrapped up in your role as a parent, those moments feel devastating.

So, find ways to let yourself feel successful, in control, and just good about yourself. Learn a new skill. Participate in something challenging. Or just set small goals each day that you can accomplish.

Find an online forum or discussion group where mothers can share their experiences and advice.

There are many ways to prioritize your own mental health as a mother! What works for one mom might not work for another but finding what does work is essential in order to be the best possible parent you can be. And often finding another group of parents you can talk to can help you feel less alone as well as give you new ideas.

So, these are just a few ways that you can try and prioritize your mental health as a busy parent. I know it's not always easy. But hopefully, some of these suggestions will help make it a little bit easier.

Looking for more support around your own mental health?

Maybe you have a diagnosable anxiety disorder. Perhaps something from parenting is triggering memories of your own childhood trauma. Or you’ve gone through a major change in life such as a divorce, job change or the loss of a parent. Or, it could simply be that you don’t feel like the best version of yourself. Even when everything seems “perfect” in your life to the outside person, you feel dissatisfied or continue to have all sorts of negative thoughts. The bottom line is, you’re thinking you need a little more support right now to really focus on your mental wellbeing.

Therapy may help. If you live in Missouri, reach out to the client care team at Aspire Counseling to learn more about our counselors and how we can help. Our counselors always offer a free consultation so you can meet with one of us and see if it's a good fit before committing to coming regularly.