At Aspire Counseling, we often hear from new clients who are apprehensive about starting therapy, wondering about what to expect. And some people worry, or at least wonder about emotional responses like crying during sessions. It's a common concern among those considering EMDR therapy as part of their healing journey. 

If you’re looking for the short answer, not everyone cries in therapy. However, tears are common and can be a meaningful part of the therapeutic process. They are often signifying the release and processing of deeply held emotions.

Still anxious about starting EMDR therapy or the idea of potentially crying during a counseling session? We’re here to answer all of your common questions about EMDR in the Kansas City, MO Area before you even start. Aspire Counseling offers counseling near Blue Springs, MO, and our practice is a safe space where emotions can surface and healing begins. Our therapists are trained to guide you through these moments, providing the support you need to navigate this path. In this blog, we'll explore why crying is a frequent and sometimes necessary part of therapy, helping to demystify the experience for those about to embark on this transformative journey.

How Common is it for People to Cry During EMDR Therapy?

When some people start counseling they wonder, “Is it common to cry during EMDR?” Eye movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an evidence-based treatment used to address various mental health concerns, particularly trauma, or PTSD. During EMDR sessions, it is not uncommon for individuals to experience strong emotions, including crying.

So, the short answer is that while not everyone cries during EMDR therapy, it is common for people to shed tears at some point during their EMDR journey.

As human beings, we have a wide range of emotions. Often, we hold our emotions in, and they don’t come out until we feel safe enough to express them. The therapeutic relationship and the safety of the therapy room or even within the privacy of an online therapy session can be that safe space where you may have that reaction of tears. 

How you personally respond to EMDR may depend on your personal history, how comfortable you are in a session, the specific trauma that you’re thinking about, how your body processes trauma in general or a number of other factors. Some individuals may cry frequently during EMDR session, while others may not shed tears at all. Each person’s emotional response is unique and influenced by their experiences and coping mechanisms. There is no right or wrong way to respond. And your therapist isn’t necessarily trying to get you to cry. So, they’re not going to leap for joy if you do cry nor will they be uncomfortable if you do. We’re used to people crying and comfortable with tears, but also understand that every person’s therapeutic journey is unique.

People sometimes cry in therapy no matter what treatment modality their therapist is using.  Whether it’s EMDR, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), or talk therapy, exploring deep-rooted emotions and confronting past trauma can evoke tears and other strong emotional reactions. Therapy is deeply personal, and the expression of emotions like crying is a natural and can be a healthy aspect of the healing process. 

Why Do People Cry During EMDR?

There are several reasons why individuals may cry during EMDR therapy. One common reason is the emotional intensity triggered by recalling traumatic memories. So, what is EMDR? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapy designed to help individuals process and heal from traumatic memories and distressing experiences. EMDR involves recalling distressing memories while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as following the therapists finger movements with the eyes or listening to alternating auditory tones. This process can activate the brain’s natural healing mechanisms, causing a surge of emotions associated with the traumatic event. As individuals confront these memories head-on, the emotional intensity can become overwhelming, leading to tears as a natural response. 

I’ve described EMDR before as confronting trauma memories almost on fast forward because of the aide of a therapist and the bilateral stimulation. A therapist helps you stay within your window of tolerance and works with you before you start processing trauma to have effective resources you can fall back on if the emotional intensity becomes too much. However, the bottom line is that your brain is still confronting emotionally intense memories. And that can bring up emotional responses including tears.

Moreover, the process of EMDR therapy can facilitate deep emotional releases. EMDR therapy often involves uncovering deeply buried emotions and addressing core beliefs about oneself and the world. As individuals delve into their past experiences and confront unresolved emotions, they may experience a flood of emotions that have been suppressed or ignored for years. This emotional unraveling can be both releasing and transformative, allowing individuals to process and release pent-up emotions that have been weighing them down. Tears may flow as a natural expression of this emotional release, signifying a profound shift in the healing process. 

However, it’s essential to note that not everyone cries during EMDR therapy, and that’s perfectly okay. If you don’t cry during EMDR sessions, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing therapy “wrong” or that it’s “not working”. People respond to EMDR therapy differently, and the lack of tears does not devalue its effectiveness. The goal of EMDR therapy is to process traumatic memories and emotions in a way that promotes healing and resolution, regardless of whether tears are shed. The most important thing is to trust the therapeutic process and allow yourself to experience whatever emotions arise in a safe and supportive environment. 

What Triggers Tears During EMDR Sessions?

When individuals engage in EMDR therapy, they are guided through a process of revisiting traumatic memories. This revisiting is not just recalling events, but involves immersing yourself in the emotional landscape of past trauma. As individuals confront these memories head-on, they may experience a resurgence of emotions associated with those events. The emotional intensity of relieving traumatic experiences can become overwhelming, leading to tears as a natural response. 

One of the primary goals of EMDR therapy is to process and desensitize the emotional charge associated with traumatic memories. This process entails not only recalling the events but also actively engaging with the emotions and sensations that arise. As individuals confront and process these emotions within a therapeutic setting, tears may surface as a natural response and release. This emotional processing allows individuals to gradually untangle themselves from the grip of past trauma, paving the way for healing and resolution. 

However, it’s important to ask, “Does everyone cry in counseling?” The answer is no; not everyone will cry during EMDR or other forms of counseling. Emotional responses vary greatly among individuals. While some may find themselves shedding tears as they process deeply held emotions, others might experience different forms of emotional release, such as feelings of relief, anger, or even numbness. Each person’s journey through therapy is unique, and the ways in which emotions are expressed can differ widely.

EMDR therapy often involves challenging and reframing negative core beliefs that have developed as a result of trauma. These core beliefs, shaped by past experiences, can significantly impact one’s self of sense and worldview. During EMDR sessions, individuals confront these deeply ingrained beliefs and work through them with the guidance of their therapist. This process can evoke strong emotions as individuals grapple with aspects of their identity and perception of the world. Tears may emerge as individuals confront, and ultimately reframe these core beliefs. 

Emotional Release and Relief

The release of suppressed emotions can lead to crying as a relief response during EMDR therapy. Many individuals carry deep-seated emotions related to past trauma, often burying them as a means of coping. EMDR therapy provides a safe and supportive environment for individuals to gradually release these pent-up emotions. Shedding tears can serve as a release, providing a sense of relief and lightness after years of emotional burden. 

Impact of Bilateral Stimulation

Bilateral stimulation, such as eye movement or tapping, plays a crucial role in EMDR therapy by tapping into the brain’s emotional centers. This bilateral stimulation is thought to mimic the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep phase, where processing and integration of memories occur. By engaging both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously, bilateral stimulation enhances the emotional response, making it easier for individuals to access and process deeply held emotions. This heightened emotional activation can sometimes lead to tears as individuals navigate through their trauma and associate emotions. 

Re-Experiencing Traumatic Events

Confronting deeply embedded traumatic memories can create strong emotional reactions, including tears. During EMDR therapy individuals are guided to re-experience traumatic events in a safe and controlled environment. This process can be emotionally intense as individuals confront the sensations, emotions, and beliefs associated with the trauma. Tears may arise as individuals revisit these traumatic events, signaling the depth of emotional reprocessing and beginning the stages of healing. 

Are There Benefits to Crying During EMDR?

While crying during EMDR therapy sessions may initially seem distressing, it can actually be a sign of progress and emotional healing. Crying serves as a natural outlet for releasing pent-up emotions and tension associated with traumatic experiences. By allowing oneself to express emotions through tears, individuals may experience a sense of relief and catharsis, paving the way for deeper healing and resolution of past traumas. 

In addition to emotional relief, crying during an EMDR therapy session can lead to a reduction in psychological stress. Tears contain stress hormones, and their release through crying can help regulate the body’s stress response. This physiological release can contribute to a sense of relaxation and calmness, allowing individuals to engage more fully in the therapeutic process. 

Furthermore, crying during EMDR sessions can symbolize a breakthrough in therapy. It indicates that individuals are engaging with the therapy process on an emotional level, which is important for achieving therapeutic goals and resolving trauma-related symptoms, shedding of tears can signify a willingness to confront and process difficult emotions, marking a significant step towards healing and emotional growth. 

The emotional release experienced during EMDR sessions may continue beyond the therapy session itself. Individuals may find that they feel lighter and more at ease the  following day after an EMDR session, as the emotional burden of past trauma is gradually lifted. This sense of emotional relief can further reinforce the therapeutic benefits of crying during an EMDR therapy session, highlighting its role in helping healing and transformation. 

Overall, the therapeutic benefits of crying during EMDR therapy sessions are multifaceted. It provides emotional release, reduces physiological stress, symbolizes a breakthrough in therapy, and contributes to lasting emotional healing beyond the session itself. By embracing and allowing for the expression of tears, individuals can facilitate deeper healing and transformation on their journey towards recovery from trauma. 

How Should Therapists Respond to Crying in EMDR?

At Aspire Counseling, therapists are dedicated to providing a safe and supportive environment for clients to explore their emotions freely. With many of our therapists trained in EMDR therapy, they understand the delicate nature of emotional processing and are equipped to handle various emotional responses, including crying, during therapy sessions. 

When clients express their emotions, particularly through tears, our therapists here at Aspire Counseling respond with empathy and compassion. They create a safe space where clients feel validated and supported in their journey towards healing. This supportive environment is critical for clients to feel comfortable expressing their emotions openly, knowing that they will be met with understanding and acceptance. 

In response to clients crying during EMDR sessions, therapists here at Aspire Counseling  want to ensure clients feel secure and supported throughout the process. Here’s are some of the ways therapists may respond to you if you are struggling with emotions outside your window of tolerance during EMDR therapy: 

1. Offer validation: Therapists acknowledge and validate the clients emotions, reassuring them that it is normal and acceptable to cry during therapy. They provide an understanding environment, and empathy, letting clients know that their emotions are valid and heard. 

2. Provide Comfort: Our therapists may offer practical support by providing tissues and verbal reassurance to comfort the client during their emotional release. This gesture of care helps clients feel physically and emotionally supported as they navigate through their feelings. 

3. Encourage self-compassion: Our therapists encourage clients to practice self-compassion and kindness toward themselves as they experience emotional intensity during EMDR therapy. They remind clients to be gentle with themselves and offer guidance on self-soothing techniques to help manage distress. 

4. Continue EMDR protocol: Unless the client indicates otherwise, therapists here at Aspire Counseling continue with the EMDR protocol following the emotional release. They recognize that emotional processing is an essential aspect of the therapy process and continue to guide clients through the protocol to facilitate healing and resolution of traumatic memories. Of course, the key here is making sure you are still within that window of tolerance and your therapist is trained to carefully monitor this. So, don’t be surprised if your therapist gently encourages you to notice the emotion and “go with that” so you can continue moving through the process and get to the other side of the intensity.

By providing support, validation, and encouragement, therapists here at Aspire Counseling ensure that clients feel secure and supported as they navigate through their emotions during EMDR therapy. This compassionate approach fosters trust and collaboration between therapist and client, which helps with deeper healing, and emotional transformation. 

 It’s Ok to Cry in Therapy

In conclusion, crying during EMDR therapy sessions is a common and natural response to the emotional intensity of processing traumatic memories. It serves as a healthy outlet for expressing and releasing pent-up emotions associated with past traumas. The therapeutic benefits of crying during EMDR sessions extend beyond emotional release to include physiological stress reduction and symbolic breakthroughs in therapy. 

Therapists trained in EMDR are preparred to support clients through emotional response, including crying, and to facilitate a safe and healing therapeutic environment. At Aspire Counseling, our therapists prioritize creating a supportive space where clients feel validated and empowered to explore their emotions openly. 

If you find yourself shedding tears during EMDR therapy, remember that it is okay and even beneficial to express your emotions openly. Through tears, individuals can embark on a journey of healing and transformation, ultimately finding relief from the burdens of past trauma and reclaiming their sense of well-being and resilience. 

EMDR therapy, with the support of a compassionate therapist, is highly effective in processing and healing from trauma. By addressing core beliefs, processing emotions, and desensitizing traumatic memories, individuals can experience profound healing and empowerment. It’s natural to feel exhausted after EMDR sessions, as they can be emotionally intense, but rest assured that this fatigue is a sign of progress and a necessary part of the healing process. Aspire Counseling is committed to helping clients navigate their healing journey with compassion, expertise, and unwavering support. 

EMDR Therapy in Missouri

At Aspire Counseling, we understand the importance of finding the right support on your path to healing. Our compassionate therapists specialize in trauma therapy, anxiety, depression, OCD, disordered eating, grief counseling, and more. Whether you’re a teen, college student, or adult, our team is here to provide you with personalized care and support. 

With a focus on EMDR therapy, and several other evidence-based support, we offer a unique approach to healing trauma and other mental health concerns. EMDR therapy has been proven effective in helping individuals process and desensitize distressing memories, allowing for healing and resolution. 

With counseling offices in Lee’s Summit, and Columbia Missouri, we provide in-person therapy services as well as online therapy for clients throughout the state. No matter where you are on your journey, we’re here to help you navigate the path to healing and reclaiming your sense of well-being. 

Take the first step towards a brighter future by scheduling a consultation with one of our experienced therapists today. Contact us to learn more about our services and how we can support you in your journey towards healing and growth.