By Christi M. Lero, MSW, LCSW, CSW-G, Therapist, Hospice & Palliative Care Social Worker

“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – Rumi

Our lives as humans are full of stories. Stories of our past, present, and future. Stories we are told by others, and stories we tell ourselves. We create an understanding of our world, make judgments, and navigate lives based on these narratives. When we experience an event, we often judge it as good or bad. Then, our minds tuck away information about how to get through similar events in the future. But, what if you experience something so devastating and earth-shattering, like grief, you may not know how to handle our emotions.

Grief Shatters Our Idea of “Normal”

When someone you love dies, like a parent, sibling, or child, you experience shock and devastation. It often takes our breath away. Then, you are suddenly faced with the reality of continuing your life without that person by your side. You might feel lost. And you may not know how to move forward in your life. The things that used to give your life purpose and meaning is now gone.

Processing Grief

Part of processing a loss is finding a new purpose. Sometimes this means using a compass made of different values than before. Narrative Therapy can help you regain control over your life story. When you begin narrative therapy you can dictate how you will move forward, and rewrite your experience of the grief you feel.

How Narrative Therapy Can Help Process Grief

Writing your own story when you are grieving gives you power in a situation where you feel powerless. You are in control of your story. You will learn to use the skills and abilities you already have to move forward.

• You own it. You own the way you experience grief. No one can tell you what you know or feel; no one can write it for you. That feeling of ownership is powerful.

• You face your experience rather than avoid it. Avoidance is a natural human reaction to discomfort and pain. In the short-term, it is incredibly effective. But, in the long-term, it can damage your well-being. Narrative interventions allow you to confront your experience in a safe way, rather than push it away.

• Your creativity drives the narrative. There are many ways to use Narrative Therapy other than putting pen to paper. For example, roleplay, creating a timeline, images, and metaphors, and many other interventions are creative ways to ensure to tell your story.

• The way you tell your story can help you identify your values. This will point you in a direction to help you make decisions in the future.

Begin Healing from Grief at Your Own Pace

It is important that you do not set expectations for yourself while you are grieving. You can’t predict the outcome of therapy during a time of intense grief. The path of healing is littered with unmet expectations. Setting expectations for what healing looks like creates an opportunity for failure and more loss. But, talking about what happened and allowing ourselves grace and time to feel your emotions can help you find relief from the pain caused by grief. 

Remember, each loss is unique, as is the grief you experience with it. So, what story will you write?

Begin Grief Counseling in Columbia, MO

If you have experienced a loss and are feeling overwhelmed, grief counseling with Christi Lero at Aspire Counseling can help. To begin counseling in Mid-Missouri, please follow these steps:

1. Contact our counseling clinic  to speak to a care coordinator,

2. Schedule a free in-person consultation meeting with me,

3. Re-write your story with Narrative Therapy and find healing from loss.

Other Services Offered at Aspire Counseling

At our Mid-Missouri mental health clinic, we believe healing begins when you look past hurts, current obstacles and future worries directly in the eye and can confidently say, “I’ve got this.” Therefore, our caring therapists provide a variety of counseling services to give our clients the tools they need to cope with their challenges and achieve emotional wellness. Our therapy services include counseling for caregivers, counseling for chronic illness, postpartum counseling, grief counseling, counseling for teens, counseling for college students, counseling for adults, trauma and PTSD therapy, EMDR therapy, counseling for sexual assault and rape, anxiety therapy, counseling for depression, LGTBQ affirming counseling services, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Additionally, our therapy team contributes to our blog on a regular basis to provide you with interesting information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our counseling services, please contact our counseling clinic in Columbia, MO.

About the Author

Christi Lero is a hospice social worker. She helps do research on ways to better support caregivers of cancer &/or hospice patients and provides individual therapy to clients at Aspire Counseling.  She specializes in helping clients during moments of major life transitions. For instance, she enjoys helping people move through grief, find hope while providing care for a family member with a chronic illness and helping moms transition to parenthood. At Aspire, Christi provides a safe space and support while you explore your feelings & values as you find a new path forward.