How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack
By Kristi Sveum
First of all, what is a panic attack? A panic attack is a sudden feeling of intense fear, anxiety, or terror often without a known cause. Symptoms include shortness of breath, sweating, racing or pounding heartbeat, chest pain, hot flashes or chills, the feeling of being choked or smothered, nausea, and/or shaking. Panic attacks are often unprovoked and sudden. People feel a sudden sense of loss of control and feel as if they are going crazy or going to die. In fact, they are sometimes even mistaken for a heart attack.
It’s also possible to have sudden, intense anxiety that doesn’t exactly meet the criteria for a panic attack but is still really distressing. While those instances may not exactly be a “panic attack,” these same techniques may help. Regardless of whether the person you are with is experiencing a true panic attack or just an intense bout of anxiety, it can feel really helpless to watch.
I have numerous clients who struggle with panic attacks. Often their friends do not know what to do to help them. They may just freeze or say unhelpful things such as “calm down.” As a side note: please do not tell anyone in a crisis to calm down. It does not help and often makes the situation worse. Recovering from a panic attack can be difficult in the moment so try to be sensitive towards your loved ones. However, there are things that are beneficial, so I thought I’d share some tips.
Advice From a Therapist for Panic Attacks
Stay with them and keep calm
Listen to what they need
Ask if they take medicine for panic attacks
Speak to them in short, simple sentences
Assure them that they are okay
Show them to a quiet space away from other people
Encourage them to take deep breaths, or even take deep breaths with them
Lead them in a grounding exercise
Helpful Statements for Someone Having a Panic Attack
“Tell me what you need right now.”
“I’m here with you and I won’t leave you.”
“You are safe.”
“I am proud of you. You’re doing a great job.”
“Focus on your breathing.”
What not to do:
Panic yourself
Tell them to “calm down”
Leave them alone
Call 911
Make a big deal of it afterward
One of My Favorite Grounding Exercises:
“Grounding” means to bring your focus to what is around you rather than how you feel on the outside, either body sensations or thoughts. This is helpful for someone having a panic attack as it keeps them in the present rather than thinking about how they feel or what may have led to the panic attack.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
One of my favorite grounding techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. It is a simple technique that utilizes your five senses by pointing out things you have never noticed. Encourage your friend to identify and in detail describe what they notice for each of the senses. The key with this grounding technique is to really experience all of the senses to their fullest.
5 Things You Can See
First, help them look for small details that can be seen. Examples would be how light reflects off a surface, patterns on the floor, or an object you’ve never noticed before. Help them describe these things in a way that someone not present can see them in their mind.
4 Things You Can Touch
Next, help them identify four things they can touch. For example, notice how your clothes feel on your body, the sun on your skin, or the texture of the chair you’re sitting in. Pick up an object and examine its texture, weight, and other physical qualities.
3 Things You Can Hear
After finding things they see and can touch, you can move on to things they can hear. Notice sounds you have tuned out, such as the traffic in the background or the leaves rustling in the wind. Maybe you can hear the sound of voices outside or even the ticking of a clock.
2 Things You Can Smell
Then, help them examine two things they can smell. Pay attention to smells that are barely noticeable, such as freshly cut grass or flowers. Pick up a candle or bottle of lotion and notice all of the smells as they hit your nose. Take a moment to really notice the scents and breathe them in.
1 Thing You Can Taste
Finally, describe something you can taste. This may be the lingering taste of the coffee from this morning or a piece of gum. I encourage people who struggle with anxiety to carry gum or mints with them. I’ve even given clients fireballs or Airheads because the sensation is so strong it is hard to think of anything else.
Other Techniques That Help With Panic Attacks
There are so many other grounding techniques that provide relief from panic attacks. This list is not exhaustive, but just a few of my favorites. Everyone copes differently, so talk with your loved ones to find what works best for them.
Another grounding technique is to give them something with a strong sensation, such as having them hold an ice cube or frozen orange. The feeling of intense cold will help keep them present. Have them describe the room you are in in as much detail as they can. Have them count backward from 100 by 7. Or have them spell the full names of their family members or friends backward or draw the outline of an object in the air. Similarly, have them name objects in various categories, such as fruit, sports teams, movies, cities, etc. Some people enjoy using grounding rocks to help with their anxiety. The list could go on and on. The idea is to distract them from their body sensations and fear of the worst-case scenario.
It is helpful to ask your friend in advance what they want you to do if they are having a panic attack. Some people want to be left alone. Others need support or reminders such as the above. I have one client who wants her close friends to give her a tight, intense hug. However, they may swing if a stranger were to give them a hug. Panic attacks are not uncommon and are harmless. Your friend will be thankful to have a safe person nearby.
Get Professional Help For Panic Attacks In Columbia, MO
You don’t have to tackle your panic attacks alone. Our skilled therapists are here to help you learn grounding techniques, talk through triggers, and help you get to the bottom of your panic. We understand that living a “normal” life can be hard when anxiety is constantly creeping up on you. We also know that panic attacks can affect your quality of life, depending on the severity of symptoms.
If you are ready to take back control of your life and overcome your panic attacks, we are here to help. Our therapists for panic attacks can help you through online therapy in Missouri or in person at our Columbia, MO counseling practice. We are trained in evidence-based treatment and will always stay focused on your personal goals. Reach out when you are ready and talk to one of our therapists for panic attacks and anxiety today!
Other Therapy Services in Columbia, MO
Maybe there is more to it than just panic attacks, or maybe you read this for a friend and realized maybe therapy could help you as well. No matter the case, we are here to help. Our therapists are trained in EMDR, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, counseling for teens and college students, LGBTQ+ affirming letter writing, and so much more. We are here for you and ready to help you reach your goals. Reach out to us today!
About the Author
Kristi Sveum is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who offers mental health counseling services at Aspire Counseling in Columbia, MO. Kristi specializes in working with clients with anxiety, trauma, and OCD. Kristi has treated numerous clients with anxiety over the past 15 years. Kristi helps clients who struggle with anxiety find a sense of calm and control when their world seems anything but. Further, Kristi helps clients learn skills that help their bodies and minds relax when they feel overwhelmed.
Other Blog Posts on Anxiety & Panic Attacks You May Find Helpful
Everything You Need to Know About Panic Attacks
The Difference Between Panic Attacks & Anxiety Attacks
Tips for Recovering After a Nightmare, Anxiety Attack or Panic Attack
