Counseling Through Life Transitions

Let’s be honest. Life is hard. And always changing. But we’re creatures of habit so when things change, especially when they change in ways we didn’t expect or feel ready for, it leads to stress. A lot of stress. And sometimes, you may need a little support to deal with that stress.

Sometimes, people worry coming to counseling means something is “wrong” with them. But the truth is that coming to counseling during a period of high stress in your life just means you’re dedicated to finding a healthy way to cope with that stress. Our counselors see people whose stress stems from all kinds of life changes. But the common thread our clients have is that they want to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and figure out what the next steps they can take are. In other words, they don’t want to stay stuck in this moment of stress & overwhelm.

Below are descriptions of just a few of the many, many life changes that might bring a person to counseling. But please keep in mind that every one of us reacts to stress differently. Situations that one person breezes through might be crippling for another. And that doesn’t mean the latter person is “weaker,” because they may face a completely different situation with more confidence and grace than the first.

A note about “positive” transitions….

Please also note that not every life transition that brings a person into counseling is inherently bad. Sometimes it’s a needed transition. Or one you’ve waited a long time for. But the stress of the change still throws you for a loop. Maybe you didn’t even expect to feel sad or confused right now. This is supposed to be a happy time. That is ok too. Because even positive change still requires a period of adjustment and often your “new life” looks differently than expected so you have to adapt to this new outlook.

Starting College

This is one of those “positive” transitions. Or at least, it’s supposed to be positive. So, young adults and their parents are often surprised when college freshmen struggle and end up in counseling.

But let’s think about this for a second. It actually makes complete sense that young adults struggle to transition to college even under the best of circumstances. First of all, everything in your life changes. The people you see on a daily basis changes. The expectations for you change. The “normal” schedule changes. Most college students are living somewhere new and taking on tons of new responsibilities for the first time. Even college students living at home go through this, “How does my new identity as a college student change how I interact with my family” phase.

And let’s talk about that issue of identity for a minute. Much of what you experienced as your “identity” in high school changes. Maybe in high school, you identified heavily as “the football player” but aren’t playing at the college level. So, who are you without that sport? Or maybe you were a “theater kid” but aren’t necessarily pursuing theater as a college student. Or maybe you were active in your church youth group and have lost that support. The bottom line is that much of how you define yourself in high school changes when you enter college. Then, there are just a whole host of new stressors in college as well.

Now, college is still a “good” thing. But it’s an adjustment. And counseling can help students adjust to these major changes, learn new ways to manage stress during this phase of life, and cope with any other specific mental health concerns they may be facing.

Transition From College Student to Working Professional

Honestly, many of the clients in our counseling practice are either finishing up their education (senior year of undergrad or in grad school) or have recently entered the workforce in their chosen career. Again, another “positive” stress. They’ve worked hard to get to this point in life. They wanted this. Yet, they feel incredibly stressed.

Does this feel familiar? Maybe the new career isn’t what you pictured. Or it’s harder to adjust to the expectations of a new job than you expected. Or really difficult to find that first job in your career. Sometimes it’s just incredibly scary to face the unknown of this big moment in your life. There are new expectations. A changing support system compared to when you were in college. There’s just a lot to adjust to. And this is a very, very normal time to start therapy. Counseling can help you gain confidence, build a sense of self, and begin moving toward goals that are really in line with who you are and what you value.

 Counseling During & After Divorce

Divorce is hard. It’s even harder when you feel alone and unsupported. Many people feel alone even when friends and family are tryin got be helpful. The truth is, many people struggle with the emotional and psychological impact of divorce, especially during the first year. It can be difficult to know where to turn for support or how to cope on your own.

Whether you knew the separation was coming for years or were shocked when your partner suddenly asked for a divorce, most people need to do some processing at the end of such a major relationship. Simply state, divorce is a major life transition that can have a profound impact on nearly every area of your life. The divorce process often requires grief work, as you mourn the loss of what was or what could have been in your marriage. If you are a parent, your feelings about divorce may be further complicated by the need to support your children through the process.

Working with a therapist during and after a divorce can help you process complex, often conflicting emotions. Therapy can also provide you with the space to make meaning of your experience, rediscover who you are, and reaffirm your personal values. Your therapist can support you as you start moving forward in your life in ways that are meaningful and consistent with who you are as an individual.

Counseling In Retirement

You've finally retired and now you don't know what to do next. For years, you looked forward to retirement. This was supposed to mark the start of your golden years. Perhaps you looked forward to relaxing days spent doing yard work or just watching TV. Or maybe you had big plans to travel. But now that it’s here? Things may just not match up with what you expected. You didn’t realize you’d feel so lost or frustrated.

Counseling can provide a space for retirees to explore the range of emotions they may be feeling. Therapists can help retirees more fully understand and make peace with their past, as well as develop a new sense of self. Counseling can also provide support and guidance as retirees navigate the changes in their relationships and social roles. In general, you may find it helpful to talk to a therapist about the unique challenges you are facing during this time of transition.

At Aspire Counseling, we have a couple of therapists who have spent much of their career working with older adults. They understand the challenges that come with retirement and can provide support and guidance as you navigate this time in your life. Counseling can help you to make peace with your past, develop a new sense of self, and adjust to the changes in your life. If you are interested in exploring counseling, please contact us today. Whether you're simply trying to get the most out of your golden years or have major new stressors like illness, depression or relationship issues coming up, we would be happy to help you find a therapist who is a good fit for you.

You deserve a fulfilling life after your career has started to wind down. Let us help you figure out what that looks like. Counseling can help you redefine who you are without the confines of your job. Through therapy, our counselors will help you find your new purpose and direction for life.

Adjusting After Moving to Missouri

Moving to a new place can be difficult.

Whether you’re moving for something exciting (a new job!) or something stressful (to be close to an ailing loved one), this huge change can come with a lot of stress. And, it’s hard to adjust when you don’t have the support system that you had in your old location. And there are so many things to adjust to when you’ve moved - new job, new friends, new doctors, new grocery store, etc. Every area of your life changes. You may feel lonely and isolated, which only makes things worse.

Counseling can help you process those emotions and learn coping skills so that moving forward doesn't seem impossible. A therapist can provide a listening ear, a safe space and help you work through your conflicting emotions, see things in a different way and problem solve as needed. If you're feeling overwhelmed by all of these changes, it's time for counseling. We'll provide a safe space where we can process everything as it comes up, work on developing healthy coping mechanisms, and make sure that this transition is as easy as possible for everyone involved.

Counseling for New Parents

As a new parent, you're probably experiencing some pretty intense emotions. It's normal to feel overwhelmed and confused by the changes that come with having a child. You may even be feeling like you've lost yourself in this process. But there is hope! Counseling can help you make sense of these feelings and help you process the changes so you can enjoy being a parent. We offer counseling for both moms and dads. Our counselors can provide therapy to new parents who may struggle with postpartum depression or anxiety (even if it's not clinical). And we also provide support for parents who are just plain stressed out about their new role as parents.

Chronic Illness Counseling

Psychotherapy can provide critical support when you are adjusting to living with a chronic illness. Perhaps you were recently diagnosed. Or entered a new phase in your illness. Or are just tired of the stress of constantly having to manage your physical health.

It scary it can be to get a new major health diagnosis or even just experience any shift in your physical health. You may have a whole range of emotions. Perhaps when you were first diagnosed you felt a little relieved to finally put a name to the symptoms you're feeling. Maybe angry at God for letting this happen to you. Scared of what the future holds for you and your family. Frustrated as you navigate a complex and often invalidating medical system.

Counseling is here so that we can process those emotions together, in an accepting space where there are no judgments or expectations about who you should be or how we should feel after receiving such news or experiencing a change in your health. We know that every person's experience is different, but also similar in many ways too - which is why we offer counseling sessions tailored specifically towards people living with chronic illnesses like yours. Several of our clinicians have experience working with and helping clients living with a chronic illness. We’d be honored to walk with you on this difficult journey.

Therapy for Other Life Transitions

We know the examples above are not a comprehensive list. The truth is that everyone goes through several major transitions over their lifetime. And what exactly those are look different for each person. But our therapists can help with many, many different types of life transitions. We understand stress and feeling overwhelmed. The specific stressors you’re experiencing may mean one of our clinicians may be a better fit than another or may impact what counseling approach we take. But all of our therapists specialize in helping people move through difficult times in their life facing anxiety, managing stress and coping with overwhelm.

How Counseling Helps During Life Transitions

At Aspire Counseling, we are proud to have an amazing group of clinicians. Each of our clinicians has gone beyond the basic education required for their clinical license to also learn to use very specific evidence based approaches to helping our clients get the most from their counseling or therapy experience. We believe in offering evidence based mental health services that truly work. Below are brief descriptions of a few of the treatment modalities our therapists are trained to use with clients experiencing major life transitions.

EMDR

We have several counselors and therapists who specialize in helping people get unstuck in their life by using eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to process. Often this therapy involves processing past stressful situations that are connected to your current stress in some way. You’ll examine negative beliefs that might be holding you back from living the happy, healthy lives they deserve today. Ultimately, you’ll express the role your negative beliefs or emotions play as you think about your past, present and future.

EMDR has helped thousands of clients cope with stress and heal past pains (even those they didn’t realize were impacting them now!) so they could live happier lives again. Essentially, the non scientific explanation is that it works by changing how our brains store information about previous stressful experiences so we can think more clearly about those memories without being overwhelmed by negative emotions associated with them anymore - allowing us to move on with our lives free from distress caused by those memories! It’s a really powerful psychotherapy intervention and all of our clinicians who have been trained in EMDR would love to talk more about how it can help. You can read more about how our clinicians use EMDR here.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of focusing on the present moment in a nonjudgmental way. It can help you feel more in control of your emotions and cope better with daily stressors. Our therapists are here to help you learn mindfulness and find practical ways to be more present in your life during this difficult time. Essentially, with the the help of a therapist you can find ways to get yourself back in the driver seat of your daily life and live purposefully despite the stress. Our therapists can help you learn mindfulness and find practical ways to cope with stressors in your daily life so you can live a happier, healthier lifestyle. Whether that’s through breathing exercises, body scans, grounding exercises, being mindful of interactions with others or so many other small ways you can incorporate mindfulness-we’re here to help.

Sand Tray

You may think that Sand Tray is something we do with children. When new clients first come to our office and see the wall lined with miniature “toys” that’s a common misconception. But we have 5 clinicians trained in using sand tray as an interventions and all 5 regularly use sand tray with adults, although some use it with children or teenagers as well.

The truth is that it can sometimes be difficult to talk about the stress we’re facing. Even people that are typically “great with words” may struggle to describe the most difficult things they’re going through. Sand Tray can act almost as a shortcut in our communication. It can provide a way for you to visually express what is going on inside. Then you and your therapist can explore changes you’d like to see in the sand as well.

Honestly, our founder (Jessica) is a very practical sort of person who was a little unsure of the idea of using a container of sand and some small “toys” with adults, but after her first training she quickly saw how quickly her clients were able to express more one sand tray than they might otherwise in several sessions. And she was able to communicate with her clients about changes they’d like to see just as quickly. After seeing several clients have huge “lightbulb” moments and after hearing another clinicians at the practice also become excited at the progress they were seeing, it was an easy decision to invest in training several of our other clinicians in this technique.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the more well researched psychotherapy interventions out there. It can help people re-examine how they think about the stressors which can in turn lead to changes in how a person feels about their stress and how they interact with their environment. CBT first teaches people to recognize the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviors so that we may change our thinking patterns for more positive outcomes. This helps them re-examine how they think about the stressors which can in turn lead to changes in how a person feels about their stress and how they interact with their environment. With CBT, therapist and client work together as a team. You may look at handouts during sessions or have worksheets as homework. Sometimes a therapist may ask you to keep a thought journal. There are a variety of techniques that fall under the CBT umbrella but they’ll help you develop insight into how you’ve been feeling, look at the situation differently and have concrete skills you can use moving forward. Let us provide that safe space for you while also helping guide you towards making positive changes within yourself that will make this next stage of your life more manageable.

Skills Based

Each of our therapists may be trained in slightly different techniques they’ll draw skills from such as DBT, ACT, EMDR resourcing or Exposure Therapy. But we each draw on a vast library of skills we’ve learned to help people cope with strong emotions. And this sort of skills based approach is often especially helpful when we’re working with someone going through a huge change in their life.

You probably had a pretty solid set of coping skills that was working for you in your life before this change or transition. You were generally functioning well, or at least better than you are right now. But then you entered this new phase. You have new stresses. And that old set of coping skills? Some aren’t available anymore and others just aren’t working the same. That’s where working with a therapist can be incredibly stressful. We can teach you new skills, have you try them and then evaluate which ones are working the best for you at this point in your life.

What is Holding You Back from Starting Counseling?

We know meeting with a new therapist in person may seem overwhelming when you’re already in the midst of so much overwhelm. But if you’re struggling to manage your strong feelings, feeling alone or just feeling unable to move forward right now, counseling truly is the best next step.

Think about where you see yourself in 6 months. Emotionally, where do you want to be? Whatever is causing you stress may still be stressful at that time. But how do you want to be be coping with it? And, with how things are going right now, will you get there? If you think therapy might help you on that journey, it’s time to reach out and see if we have any openings right now for a clinician who would be a good fit.