Introducing IFS—What You Should Know Before Starting IFS
If you’ve spent any time exploring therapy options recently, you may have noticed that more and more people across the country are talking about Internal Family Systems, or IFS. This powerful and compassionate approach to healing is helping people slow down, turn inward, and better understand the different thoughts, emotions, and patterns that shape their lives. While IFS is gaining popularity in places like California, New York, and even neighboring states, it’s still not as widely talked about here in Missouri. But that’s starting to change—and we’re excited to be part of that shift.
At its core, IFS is based on one simple but life-changing idea: all Parts of you are welcome. Even the ones you struggle with. Even the ones you’d rather avoid. IFS helps you understand why those Parts exist, how they’re trying to protect you (even when it doesn’t feel that way), and how to create more calm, balance, and connection within yourself.
Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, carrying old emotional wounds, or feeling stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break, IFS therapy in Missouri offers a way to approach those challenges from a new and deeply compassionate perspective.
In this post, we’ll walk you through everything you should know before starting IFS therapy—including how it works, what sessions are like, and what you can expect from the process. Along the way, you’ll find common questions about IFS answered by a Missouri therapist and practical guidance to help you feel more confident as you begin this journey. And if you’re wondering where to begin, we’ll also explain exactly how to find an IFS therapist in Missouri—because healing starts with having the right support by your side.
What Are the Basics of IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is based on the idea that every person has different “Parts” within them—kind of like an inner family. These Parts each have their own thoughts, feelings, and ways of reacting to the world. Some Parts try to help you stay safe, others try to keep you organized and productive, and some carry painful feelings from your past.
In IFS, we talk about three main types of Parts:
Protectors: These Parts work hard to keep you safe and avoid emotional pain. They may show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, worry, or even anger.
Exiles: These Parts carry the hurt, sadness, shame, or fear from past experiences. Because their feelings can feel overwhelming, Protectors often try to keep them hidden.
Self: This is the calm, compassionate, wise core of who you are. When you’re connected to your Self, you can lead your inner system with curiosity and care.
The goal of IFS therapy is not to get rid of any of your Parts. Instead, it’s about building relationships with them—listening to their concerns, helping them feel safe, and allowing your Self to lead with calm confidence. In this way, healing doesn’t mean fighting against your thoughts and emotions. It means welcoming them, understanding them, and working with them gently.
If this idea feels unfamiliar or even a little strange, that’s okay. IFS is different from most traditional therapy models. But for many people, it’s exactly the kind of deeper, more compassionate work they’ve been looking for.
IFS Language Might Feel New—But You’re Probably Already Using It
If words like Parts, Protectors, and Exiles sound unfamiliar or even a little unusual, that’s completely normal. IFS can feel different from other types of therapy at first. But the truth is, you probably already talk about your inner world in ways that reflect this model—without even realizing it.
Think about times you’ve said things like:
“A part of me is really dreading that meeting, but another part is kind of excited about the challenge.”
“Part of me wants to stay home, but there’s also a part that knows it’ll feel good to go out.”
“There’s a part of me that feels stuck, and another part that’s trying really hard to push through.”
This is exactly the kind of inner dialogue IFS helps you explore more deeply. The difference is that, in therapy, you’ll learn how to listen to each of those Parts with curiosity and kindness—and find out what they really need.
If you can relate to any of this, consider yourself as having a headstart on being ready to begin IFS therapy.
How to Prepare for IFS Therapy
Getting ready for IFS therapy doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out. In fact, one of the best ways to prepare is to simply stay open to exploring your emotions without judgment. You don’t need to fix anything or make uncomfortable feelings go away. Just be willing to notice what’s happening inside, even if it feels messy or confusing.
It can also help to start practicing the idea of seeing your thoughts and feelings as “Parts.” For example, if you feel nervous about something, try saying to yourself, “There’s a part of me that’s feeling anxious right now.” This small shift can make it easier to observe your emotions rather than feel overwhelmed by them.
And remember—it’s okay if this feels awkward or slow at first. IFS is about going at the pace that feels right for you. Some discomfort is normal when exploring new territory, but your therapist will be there to help guide the process and make sure you feel supported along the way.
What Does an IFS Therapy Session Look Like?
IFS sessions often begin with a simple check-in. Your therapist might ask what’s coming up for you emotionally or if there’s anything specific you’d like to explore that day. From there, the conversation gently shifts toward noticing which Parts are present—maybe a Part that feels anxious, one that’s critical, or one that’s feeling distant or shut down.
As the session continues, your therapist will help you connect with what IFS calls Self-energy—the calm, curious, and compassionate part of you that can lead the conversation with your inner world. You’ll practice listening to your Parts without judgment and begin building trust with the Protectors that are working hard to keep you safe.
Every IFS session looks a little different, and that’s okay. Some days you might feel deeply connected to your Parts; other days it may feel harder to stay in that calm, open space. You don’t have to “do it perfectly.” Just showing up and being willing to notice what’s happening is an important part of the healing process.
How Long Does It Take for IFS to Work?
One of the most common questions people ask when starting therapy is how long it will take to feel better. With IFS, the answer really depends on your personal goals, life experiences, and how ready you feel to explore your internal world. Some people notice small but meaningful shifts after just a few sessions, while others take more time to build trust with their Parts before deeper healing happens.
If you’re feeling unsure about what to expect in therapy, especially during those first few sessions, you might find it helpful to read our post on what to expect from your first counseling session. Even though it’s not IFS-specific, it can help ease some of the natural anxiety about starting therapy and give you a clearer picture of how the process begins.
It’s important to remember that progress in IFS isn’t always measured by big breakthroughs. Often, small moments—like noticing a critical Part with more compassion or recognizing when a Protector is stepping in—are powerful signs that change is happening. These moments may feel subtle, but they create space for long-term healing and lasting emotional freedom.
If you’re wondering How Long Does IFS Take to Work, know that everyone’s journey is different. The goal isn’t to rush the process but to move at a pace that feels safe and sustainable for you. And no matter how long it takes, every step toward understanding and connecting with your Parts is a meaningful part of your healing journey.
Does IFS Heal Trauma?
IFS can be especially powerful for healing trauma—particularly complex or developmental trauma that may not have fully responded to other therapy approaches. In IFS, trauma healing happens by helping the Parts of you that carry painful emotions safely release their burdens. These exiled Parts often hold deep feelings of fear, shame, or sadness connected to past experiences, and IFS offers a gentle, structured way to begin letting go of that emotional weight.
It’s important to understand that healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means that the pain from the past no longer controls your life in the same way. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or stuck, you begin to lead your life from a place of calm and confidence—what IFS calls Self-energy.
At Aspire Counseling, many of our therapists combine IFS with other trauma-focused treatments like EMDR and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) to support comprehensive healing. If you’re curious about how IFS works specifically for trauma recovery, you can read more in our post about how IFS helps with PTSD and what a recent study tells us.
Does IFS Work for Anxiety?
Yes, IFS can be a very helpful approach for managing anxiety. In IFS, anxiety is often seen as a Protector Part—one that tries to keep you safe by staying on high alert for anything that could go wrong. This Part may worry constantly, imagine worst-case scenarios, or push you to avoid certain situations to prevent discomfort or danger. While it’s trying to help, it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and stuck.
IFS helps you slow down and gently explore what’s behind that anxiety. Instead of fighting anxious thoughts, you’ll learn to approach them with curiosity. What is this anxious Part afraid might happen? What is it trying to protect you from? As you build trust with these Parts, they often become less intense because they no longer feel like they’re carrying the burden alone.
This approach feels different from traditional methods for treating common anxiety disorders like generalized anxiety, social anxiety, or panic attacks. But the good news is, you don’t have to choose one approach or the other. At Aspire Counseling, our therapists are also trained in other evidence-based treatments for anxiety, including Exposure Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
The beauty of our work is that we offer truly evidence-based care—combining well-researched interventions that help people face and improve their anxiety while also meeting them where they are emotionally. Our therapists bring not only their clinical expertise, but also their own lived wisdom and compassion to help you find relief in a way that feels safe, empowering, and sustainable.
Is IFS Evidence-Based?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is increasingly recognized as an effective, evidence-based approach for addressing a variety of mental health concerns, including trauma, anxiety, and depression. While it may feel different from more traditional therapies, IFS is grounded in research and has been shown to help people heal by fostering a compassionate relationship with their internal Parts.
When Did IFS Become Evidence-Based?
In 2015, IFS was designated as an evidence-based practice by the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). It was recognized for its effectiveness in improving general functioning and well-being, particularly in treating trauma-related conditions. This designation was part of SAMHSA's National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices (NREPP), which, although discontinued in 2018, served as a valuable resource for identifying effective therapeutic approaches.Australian Psychological Society
Research Supporting IFS Therapy
Several studies have demonstrated the efficacy of IFS therapy:
Depression: A pilot study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that college women receiving IFS therapy experienced significant reductions in depressive symptoms, comparable to those receiving standard treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT).
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Research has shown that IFS therapy can lead to significant reductions in PTSD symptoms among adults with histories of childhood trauma. Participants also reported improvements in depression and overall psychological well-being.
Rheumatoid Arthritis: An IFS-based intervention demonstrated positive effects on patients with rheumatoid arthritis, reducing pain and depressive symptoms while improving physical functioning.
These studies highlight IFS therapy's potential as a versatile and effective treatment modality.
How Valid Is IFS Therapy?
If you’re asking yourself, “Is IFS therapy legit?”—you’re not alone. Many people wonder how a therapy model that talks about “Parts” and “Self-energy” fits into the world of scientifically supported treatments. The good news is that IFS has earned recognition among therapists, researchers, and mental health organizations as an effective, evidence-based approach for long-term emotional healing.
Studies have shown that IFS therapy can significantly reduce symptoms of trauma, depression, and anxiety, often when other therapies haven’t brought lasting relief. Its effectiveness has led to a growing number of clinicians worldwide seeking formal IFS training. What started as a lesser-known approach is now being embraced by therapists looking to offer their clients a more compassionate and integrative path to healing.
At Aspire Counseling, we’re proud to offer IFS therapy as part of a well-rounded, clinically sound practice. Our IFS-trained therapists don’t just rely on a single method—they bring their expertise in other evidence-based approaches like EMDR, CBT, and CPT to support clients in a holistic and personalized way. This means you receive care that’s both deeply compassionate and firmly grounded in research.
Who Is IFS Therapy Best For?
IFS isn’t just for people with a specific diagnosis or mental health condition. In fact, it’s often best suited for people who feel emotionally stuck or conflicted—those moments when part of you wants to move forward, but another part holds you back. If you’ve ever noticed those inner debates or felt torn between different emotions, you’ve already experienced the kind of internal world IFS helps you explore.
IFS therapy is ideal for people who:
Feel emotionally stuck or unsure of how to move forward.
Are curious about their inner world and want to understand themselves more deeply.
Long to feel calmer, more connected, and more compassionate toward themselves.
This kind of work doesn’t require you to have everything figured out—it simply asks you to show up with a willingness to explore what’s going on inside. Even if you’re nervous or unsure where to start, that’s okay. IFS is about taking things one step at a time, with patience and kindness toward yourself.
How Do I Start IFS Therapy?
Starting IFS therapy is a simple, supportive process. At Aspire Counseling, we know how important it is to find a therapist who feels like the right fit for you. That’s why the first step is a free consultation with our Client Care Coordinator. During this call, we’ll learn more about what you’re looking for and help match you with a trained IFS therapist who can meet your needs.
From there, you’ll schedule an intake session. This is a time for your therapist to get to know you, understand your goals, and explore your personal history in a way that feels safe and supportive. After that, you’ll begin the work of gently exploring your inner Parts and learning how to lead your life from a place of calm, clarity, and compassion.
We offer IFS therapy both in person at our Lee’s Summit office and online throughout Missouri. Whether you prefer to meet face-to-face or from the comfort of your own home, our therapists are here to support you.
What Are the Limitations of IFS Therapy?
While IFS is a powerful and deeply healing approach, it may not be the right fit for every person or every situation. There are some issues where you’re best served with a more structured therapy specific to that issue—especially for specific issues like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), where approaches like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) have strong research support. Your therapist may still be somewhat IFS informed bringing in components of IFS, but you’ll benefit strongly from having a specialized treatment for this.
If you’re unsure whether IFS is right for you, that’s okay. We’re happy to help you explore your options and find the approach—or combination of approaches—that best supports your journey toward healing.
How to Find a Good IFS Therapist
Finding the right therapist is an important part of starting any healing journey—and that’s especially true with IFS. You want someone who not only understands the model but also helps you feel safe, supported, and respected throughout the process. This is called therapeutic rapport, and it’s one of the strongest predictors of success in therapy. If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, it’s hard to do the vulnerable, inner work that IFS invites.
It’s also important to ask about your therapist’s training. A qualified IFS therapist should have completed at least Level 1 IFS training through the IFS Institute or another well-respected program. While some therapists may incorporate IFS concepts after reading about the model or attending a brief workshop, formal training ensures they have the depth of knowledge needed to guide you safely through the process.
At Aspire Counseling, all of our IFS therapists have completed Level 1 training and are also trained in at least one other evidence-based trauma treatment, such as EMDR, CPT, or TF-CBT. This means we can provide truly well-rounded care—tailoring your treatment to meet your unique needs and goals.
To learn more about what to look for in a therapist, check out our guide on How to Find an IFS Therapist in Missouri.
Where Can I Learn More About Internal Family Systems?
If you’re curious to dive deeper into IFS, there are many wonderful resources to help you better understand the model and how it can support your emotional growth.
If you enjoy reading, here are a few excellent books we often recommend to clients:
No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz — A clear and accessible introduction to IFS and how to begin working with your own Parts.
Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model by Dr. Richard Schwartz — A foundational text that explores the theory and practice of IFS.
Self-Therapy by Jay Earley — A practical guide for using IFS concepts in your own life, even if you’re not working directly with a therapist.
Ready to Begin IFS Therapy in the Lee’s Summit/Blue Springs Area?
At Aspire Counseling, we believe every Part of you deserves to be heard, understood, and welcomed. Whether you’re exploring therapy for the first time or you’ve tried other approaches and still feel stuck, IFS offers a gentle but powerful way to begin healing from the inside out.
We offer IFS therapy in Missouri, both in person at our Lee’s Summit office and online across the state. Our compassionate, highly trained therapists are here to support you—whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or just feeling disconnected from yourself.
If you’re ready to explore whether IFS is the right path for you, we invite you to schedule a free consultation through our Client Care Coordinator. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Healing starts when you take the first step—and we’ll walk with you from there.
Every Part of you is welcome. Every Part of you matters. And every Part of you is worthy of healing.
