Dental Anxiety: You’re Not Alone! Coping Skills for When You Go to the Dentist

Dental anxiety is very common. In fact, many people experience some level of dental anxiety. It can be really tough to go to the dentist when you're anxious. But don't worry, you're not alone! In this blog post, we will discuss some coping skills for dental anxiety. We'll also talk about why it's important to see a dentist even if you are anxious. So, if you're feeling nervous about your upcoming appointment, read on!

I Have Dental Anxiety Myself

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I have to be honest, this topic is personal for me.  I used to hate going to the dentist. I would get really anxious and my heart would race. It was really embarrassing and I felt like everyone was judging me....especially since I'm a therapist and literally specialize in treating anxiety.

I still don't like going to the dentist. I probably never will. However, I've been going and getting caught up on all dental work that was necessary after years of neglecting my mouth.  And this morning my dentist asked if I could help other patients with dental anxiety since I have a deep understanding of it myself.

So, I'm going to share with you a bit of what's helped me. Both based on my professional knowledge of anxiety AND my own experience.

Anxiety & Visiting The Dentist....What's the Problem?

There are a few reasons you may have anxiety about going to the dentist. 

Some people are anxious about the physical procedure itself. They may feel like they're in pain or that they're going to be in pain. Others may be worried about the tools that will be used or about the dentist seeing their mouth "up close and personal."

Others may have anxiety related to past experiences. This is where my own dental anxiety comes from.

Bad Experiences + Avoidance Make Dental Anxiety Worse

If you've had a bad experience at the dentist, it's natural to want to avoid future dental appointments. However, this can actually make your anxiety worse!

The more you avoid the dentist, the more anxious you'll become about it. This is because avoidance maintains and strengthens your fear of dental procedures. Each time you think about going, you feel anxious. When you decide not to call or not to go in, the anxiety subsides. This teaches your brain that the way to feel better is to make the decision to avoid.

On the other hand, forcing yourself to go in without any coping skills can actually make it worse as well. If you go to the dentist and have a negative experience, it will confirm your fears and you'll have even worse anxiety.

My Anxiety Got Worse Due to Both of These

I didn't have an issue with going to the dentist as a child. But in college I had my wisdom teeth taken out and I first had the a reaction to the medication they gave me for the procedure. I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't fun. Then, the pain medicine afterwards made me sick. I skipped going to the dentist again for years.

The next time I went, I was finishing up my treatment plan when my son was still a baby. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and was a little extra sensitive to pain. I wasn't really in the state of mind to be using any of the coping skills I had already started learning professional. So, it was another rough experience with a filling.

Then, I went another 8 years or so without going to the dentist. The longer I went without going in, the harder it became to make that phone call and go in. Until a filling fell out and I started having enough pain that I finally made myself go in.

But there is hope: There are Ways to Make A Dentist Visit Easier

Just like there are ways to make a visit to the dentist harder, there are also ways to make it easier. Here are some of the things I have found work for me….most of which are techniques for facing anxiety that I talk to my clients about every single day.

Find Support with the Right Dentist

One thing you can do is find a dentist who is really patient with you and will normalize your dental pain. They'll explain what's going on, walk you through the procedure, and be there to help ease your anxiety. A great way to do this is to ask around in your local community.

I personally see Dr. Elaine Cheong in Columbia, MO. Once I told them how anxious I am, they have really, really worked with me. At first, I was afraid to admit just how bad it was. But since opening up since coming back after that 8 year gap, Dr. Cheong’s entire team have been amazing! They gave me a stress ball when I forgot to bring one, sing or bob their heads along to music I’ve played, talk through each little thing, give me little choices where appropriate so I feel more in control, etc. And the couple of times I’ve needed a break while they were working they’re totally ok with that too. When I explained I’d be tapping at times when I felt anxious they didn’t bat an eye.

In other words, my dentist and her team don’t make me feel at all guilty for my anxiety-they work with it. Dr. Cheong shared that she didn’t understand anxiety very well when she first started her career but that the more she’s learned the better she’s been able to help patients. And members of team have even shared with me anxieties that they’ve experienced. So, they truly do “get it” and just having a team that is patient and understands has made a huge, huge difference.

So….ask around about a dentist in your area that is great with dental anxiety. Then, be open with you dentist about how you feel. And always advocate for what you need. It makes a huge difference!

Photo by Kate Stone Matheson on Unsplash downloaded 4/18/22

Get a Good Night Sleep

You can also get a good night sleep the night before to reduce your vulnerability to pain and anxiety. We all know tough things are hard to manage on a poor night of rest! When I'm anxious at night, I find it helpful to practice progressive muscle relaxation, but there are lots of things you can do to improve your sleep.

Grounding Activities: The Basics You can Use at the Dentist

Another thing you can do is ground yourself while you are actually in the dental chair. This means getting your mind and body focused on the present moment. Grounding means  getting connected to the here and now and is truly one of the best ways to approach anxiety.

There are a few different ways to do this, but one of the most basic is the "Five-Four-Three-Two-One" technique. Other grounding techniques I like to use at the dentist include holding a stress ball or grounding rock, paced breathing or even counting tiles on the ceiling.

Essentially, grounding is whatever you do to get yourself out of those anxious thoughts in your head and focus on the present moment...but I find it most helpful to focus on a part of the present moment other than what's going on in my mouth.

Listening to Music

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I've found that both the dentist and endodentist I've seen this year have been very, very supportive of me listening to music while they work.  I've brought in my airbuds and just focused on listening to good music. Except for this morning when I didn't have the airbuds on me, but they still encouraged me to listen to music so we just turned it up on my phone and set my phone near my ear.

Naturally, it's important to give some thought to what kind of music you're going to listen to. My dental hygienist told me they've heard all kinds of music in their office! As an anxiety therapist, I'd recommend choosing something calming or that is going to make you think of positive things. Today I actually chose to listen to Disney music because it made it easy to mentally escape into memories a recent trip my family took to Disney World. But really any music that will evoke positive emotions is great.

Mentally Escape: Visualize a Peaceful or Happy Space

This is one of my favorite ways to deal with high levels of anxiety, but it can take some practice.

Essentially, what you want to do is find a space inside your mind that is peaceful and calming. This could be a place you've been before, a place you make up, or even a place with people you love. I've had clients envision everything from their bedroom to a field, a beach or a back deck at their house. It's just important to find what works for you. 

The key is to really focus on all of the sensory details in this space. What does it smell like, what does it feel like, what sounds can you hear? Take a few deep breaths and let yourself stay there for as long as you'd like.

Bilateral Stimulation

A couple of years ago, I became trained in EMDR and frequently use it with my clients and let me tell you, it's been a game changer in how I work with. Essentially, bilateral stimulation (providing stimulation to alternating sides of the body) can have a stress reducing response.

My favorite way to do this in the dental chair is to move my feet back and forth. But....that can be a problem if it also moves your upper body. So, before they get started I like to demonstrate to the hygienist how I gently tap alternating toes and ask if it’s disruptive. I've also found laying my hands flat and just lightly raising one then the other to alternate which side gives myself a light tap can be very helpful. I've even read about some bilateral stimulation wristbands that sounds really cool but I haven't tried yet.

Working with a Professional

For some people, it may help to see a therapist for a few sessions to target your dental anxiety.  This should be someone who is experienced in helping with anxiety or related disorders.

There are very specific techniques we can use to target your anxiety that are generally very effective. And if you're coming in for something specific like dental anxiety treatment can even more very quickly. In fact, you may find that even after only a few visits (and practicing what you learn between sessions) you're able to go to the dentist with less anxiety.

In some cases, it may also be helpful to speak to a physician about getting a PRN anxiety medication. This is a medication that you would only take when needed and it can help to reduce the overall feeling of anxiety.

Support for Dental Anxiety in Mid-Missouri

At Aspire Counseling,  we want to help you feel your best. If you're struggling with dental anxiety, know that you're not alone! We have a variety of techniques that we can use to help reduce your anxiety and make your visits to the dentist more manageable. And we have therapists (myself included) who truly understand the anxiety you're feeling. So, give us a call today at (573) 328-2288 or contact us online to schedule an appointment for a free consultation with a counselor.

About the Author

Jessica Tappana is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the founder of Aspire Counseling. She believes in the power of psychotherapy to change lives, and has a particular heart for treating anxiety as she understands the impact it can have on a person’s life but has seen how well anxiety responds to counseling when clients dedicate themselves completely to the counseling process.