How We Match You With a Therapist at Aspire Counseling (And What to Do If It's Not a Good Fit)

I recently covered phone calls for new potential clients when a staff member was out of the office. As I answered these calls, a lot of people initially seemed to be wondering why we take so long on those client matching calls or what really helps us decide if a therapist is a “match” for you.

The truth is, when you call a lot of practices, you get whoever has an opening. Sometimes that works out fine. But that’s not what we do at Aspire Counseling. Why? Because often it doesn't, and you end up sitting across from someone who is perfectly nice but has no particular experience with what you're actually dealing with.

That's not how we do it here. So let me walk you through what actually happens on our end after you reach out.

How does Aspire Counseling decide which therapist you'll see?

We match you based on several things including the specifics of what you're dealing with, which of our therapists is actually trained in the treatment that fits, and what kind of person you'll want to sit across from. When appropriate, we usually recommend two clinicians so you have a choice of two people who we honestly feel would be able to help you. Occassionally, we may offer three options if we have that many people who may be a good fit and currently have openings.

Here's what that looks like in practice.

What information do we use to narrow things down?

When you call and talk to us or fill out our contact form, we're paying attention to more than just "anxiety" or "trauma." We're listening for specifics.

Are you a parent calling about a 9 year old, or about a college student? Is this OCD with intrusive thoughts you're afraid to say out loud, or is it panic that's started making driving feel impossible? Have you been in therapy before and felt like it didn't go anywhere? Do you need in person, or do you need virtual because you're squeezing this into a lunch break?

Every one of those details narrows the field. If you tell me you're dealing with OCD and you want to work with someone in person in Columbia, I'm already thinking of a specific person, not scanning a schedule.

Why does specific training matter more than "we treat anxiety"?

This is where I think we're different from a lot of practices, and it's the part I feel strongest about.

Our therapists are trained in specific evidence based treatments. EMDR, CPT, ERP, TF-CBT, ACT, DBT. Those aren't just letters we put on a website. They are distinct approaches with real training behind them. Each works a slightly different way or slightly different types of clients.

For something like OCD, it can make a real difference to work with someone who genuinely understands exposure and response prevention. ERP is the treatment where you gradually face what your brain says is dangerous while resisting the compulsion or reassurance that usually follows. Someone trained in it knows how reassurance seeking and avoidance keep the whole cycle going. Not everyone who says they "treat anxiety" knows how to do that well. So when someone reaches out about OCD, I'm looking at the handful of clinicians on our team who are truly trained in ERP, not at the whole roster.

Same with trauma. If you want EMDR, I know exactly who is fully trained. If you're interested in the week long trauma intensive, that's me. If your child experienced something scary and needs TF-CBT, there are three people I'd consider.

For anxiety, we have several different approaches. Which we suggest may depend a little bit on if you say you want really practical things to do between sessions or if you say that you aren’t even sure what you want next in life.

The truth is, we're a small enough practice that our intake team knows each of these clinicians well. I consult with them. I've watched how they think about cases. That matters more than any bio on a website.

What about personality fit?

Expertise gets you part of the way. The rest is whether you'll actually want to come back.

Some people want someone warm and gentle who will move at a slower pace. Some people want someone who will be direct with them and not let them dodge the hard stuff. Some people need a therapist with a sense of humor or they'll never relax enough to talk.

We have clinicians who fit each of those descriptions, and I try to pay attention to how you write to us or how you sound on the phone. If you're no nonsense and want to get to work, I'm not going to send you to the most gentle, slow paced person on our team.

Sometimes fit is about something more specific. If you're looking for a strongly LGBTQ+ affirming therapist, there are people on my team I'd point you toward first. Same if you've adopted, or if you're navigating dissociation, or if you want someone who does deeper inner work rather than skills and coping strategies.

When I recommend someone, I'm usually recommending two people. That's on purpose. I want you to have a real choice, and I want you to be able to read about both and see which one sounds more like a person you'd want to sit across from.

Should you meet with both therapists we recommend?

No. We ask that you pick one and meet with that person. When you schedule consultations with two clinicians back to back, you spend both conversations evaluating instead of connecting, and people often walk away liking neither one.

The trut is that when you plan meet with two people, you're mentally scoring them against each other. And the strange thing is that comparison makes small things feel like dealbreakers. She talked a little faster than he did. He asked a question I wasn't ready for. Neither of those tells you anything real about whether therapy with that person will help you.

When you meet with one person, you actually get to be in the conversation. You're not auditioning them. In my experience, people who do it that way are much more likely to find a good fit on the first try.

So read about both. Pick the one who sounds more like someone you'd want to sit with. Then go meet that person and give it your attention.

How long should you give it before deciding it's not working?

Honestly, we know it typically takes 8-12 sessions to know if therapy is truly helping. So, I generally recommend 8-12 sessions before making a change.

First, it’s worth noting that the first session or two involves a lot of history taking and paperwork, so it can feel more like an interview than therapy. That usually shifts when you start doing actual “therapy.” Also, at first there’s so much telling the story of your life and who is important to you that it’s hard to feel like you’re getting much done in each session.

That said, if you feel judged, dismissed, or consistently uneasy, don't wait it out. That’s a good indicator it’s time to change.

Sometimes what feels like "not clicking" in session one is actually just how uncomfortable it is to talk about hard things with someone new. That's normal.

Something feeling genuinely off is different. Tell us.

What if you don't click with your therapist?

At Aspire Counseling, we are careful about matching new clients with the right therapist. We take our time talking to you, carefully read your email. We give a lot of effort to suggesting someone we think will really help you. And most of the time, it goes well. But no matching process is perfect. Sometimes you meet someone and the chemistry just isn't there. That's not a failure on your part, and it's not necessarily a failure on the therapist's part either. It happens.

If that's where you land, please tell us.

You can tell your therapist directly, and I promise they can handle it. Our clinicians want you to get better more than they want to keep you on their caseload. They’re always happy to provide a referral either to a colleague in our practice or in the community.

Or, if it feels easier to tell me or our client care team instead, that's completely fine too. Email us. We'll help you switch. We'll talk with you about what didn't work so the second match is better than the first, and we'll pass along whatever's helpful to the new therapist so you're not starting from scratch. You don't have to retell your entire story to a stranger again.

I'd rather move you to someone else on our team than have you decide therapy doesn't work for you. That would be the real loss.

What should you tell us about why it didn't work?

Be specific. This is the part that matters most.

"It just wasn't a fit" doesn't give us much to work with, so we’ll just try to match you with someone who has a different vibe or technique. But if you tell us she moved faster than you were ready for, or he felt too formal, or you wanted someone who would be more direct with you, or you realized partway through that you'd really rather work with a man, now we know something. We can use that. It changes who we suggest next, and it makes the second match much better than a random reshuffle would be.

Sometimes what you tell us leads us to someone else on our team. Sometimes it tells us the person you need isn't here, and we'll say that and point you somewhere else. I have no interest in keeping you at Aspire if the right fit for you is somewhere across town.

We just want you to find the right person. Whether that ends up being one of us or not.

Why do we take matching this seriously?

Research is pretty clear that the relationship between a therapist and client forms early and then stays fairly stable. Clients who feel connected in the first few sessions tend to stay connected. That means the match matters a lot, and it matters right away.

It's also why we ask new clients to come weekly, at least for the first eight weeks or so. Trust builds faster with consistency, and spreading those early sessions out makes everything harder.

Frequently asked questions about therapist matching

Can I request a specific therapist at Aspire Counseling?
Yes. If you've read about someone on our site and want to work with them, tell us. We'll assign you to that person when they have an opening and it's a reasonable clinical fit.

Can I switch therapists without starting over?
Yes. If you switch to another clinician at Aspire, we pass along what's helpful so you're not retelling your whole history from scratch.

Do you offer therapist matching for teens and kids?
Yes. We work with children, teens, and adults, and we match based on age and presenting concern along with everything else. TF-CBT trained clinicians handle a lot of our younger clients.

Do you match for online therapy too?
Yes. We offer telehealth throughout Missouri, and some of our clinicians work fully online. If virtual is what fits your life, say so when you reach out.

How long does matching take?
Usually not long. You'll typically hear back with a recommendation and an explanation of why that person makes sense for you.

Begin Therapy in Columbia or Lee's Summit, MO

Tell us as much as you're comfortable sharing about what's going on and what you're looking for. The more specific you are, the better the match we can make.

We’ll then come up with a recommendation, an explanation of why I think that person makes sense for you, and what the next step looks like. And if that first match isn't right, we'll figure it out together.

Call our Columbia office at 573-328-2288 or our Lee's Summit office at 816-287-1116. Or, reach out through our online contact form. We see clients in person at both locations and online throughout Missouri.

Whenever you're ready for effective care and lasting change, we're here.