What is a red flag for a therapist or counselor?
If you’re in Lee’s Summit or nearby Blue Springs, Greenwood, or Raymore and looking for a therapist, it’s normal to wonder: how can I tell whether a therapist is a good fit for me and my goals? Below are the most common questions people ask us about “red flags,” balanced with the “green flags” that signal you’re in capable hands.
Is it a red flag if a therapist can’t see me for months?
Sometimes a long wait is simply a sign that the therapist is highly specialized and in-demand. For example, in mid-Missouri there are very few clinicians offering pediatric ERP for OCD. Our pediatric ERP therapist, Krist Sveum, sometimes doesn’t have openings because it’s very advanced work with a narrow population. We don’t generally keep a waitlist, but we have had a few people want to wait for availability for her or one of our other therapists specifically because of the specific need they have.
That said, for most people, waiting months can cause motivation to dip and symptoms to worsen—or at the very least stall progress when you reached out for a reason. This is why our practice typically does not keep a waitlist. We find that waitlists can unintentionally give people permission to stop looking, when there are often qualified therapists with immediate openings who can help you start now.
Green flag: you can schedule at least a consultations within one to two weeks, and if you need evenings, they’re truly available (our Lee’s Summit office offers evening appointments up to 7:30 pm several days a week). If you’re ready to start, see our Lee’s Summit page for directions and options: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/lees-summit-blue-springs-counseling
Is it a red flag if the therapist is a generalist?
Not always. Many therapists competently treat a range of concerns. And basic things like stress management can be treated by most experienced clinicians. However, a pet peeve of mine is graduate programs often train us to believe we can treat everything just out of school. The truth is that most clinicians become especially skilled—through training, experience, interest, and personality—at certain problems and approaches. Large agencies sometimes push clinicians to take any client to fill caseloads, and brand-new private practitioners may do the same to get started. That mis-match can slow your progress.
A great question to ask any new therapist: what types of clients do you get the best outcomes with? You deserve an honest, specific answer. If your primary concerns are trauma or anxiety, you can also ask whether the therapist uses approaches like EMDR or Internal Family Systems (IFS). To learn more about what good therapy looks like across models, this post is a helpful overview of outcomes and planning: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/what-does-effective-therapy-actually-look-like-understanding-treatment-outcomes
What does “evidence-based” really mean?
To us, evidence-based means using methods backed by credible research that actually help with the problem you’re bringing to therapy. For trauma and anxiety, that often includes EMDR, IFS, and structured skills from CBT/ACT. Evidence-based doesn’t mean cookie-cutter. It means your time, money, and effort are focused on strategies that are more likely to help.
Green flag: your therapist can explain in plain language why a given method fits your symptoms and how you’ll know it’s helping. If you’re curious about IFS specifically, these posts go deeper:
• What does IFS help with? https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/what-does-ifs-help-with
• How long does IFS take to work? https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/how-long-does-ifs-take-to-work
Isn’t the therapeutic relationship what matters most?
Yes. Research consistently shows that the alliance—the quality of the relationship and collaboration—predicts outcomes across models. You should feel safe, respected, and like you and your therapist are a team. If you want to read more, you might like these two pieces from our team:
• The power of therapeutic rapport: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/the-power-of-therapeutic-rapport-why-feeling-comfortable-in-therapy-matters
• Defining the therapeutic relationship: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/defining-the-therapeutic-relationship-in-counseling
Green flag: your therapist invites feedback and checks in on how the process feels to you. They might not be someone you’d socialize with in “real life,” but you’re confident they know their stuff, hear you, respect you and have a plan to help.
Is it a red flag if sessions feel like casual chatting?
Sometimes. Conversation is part of therapy, and sometimes a lighter session is exactly what your nervous system needs. But if every session feels like chatting with no sense of direction, you may be missing the benefit of a structured plan. For trauma, panic, OCD, or chronic pain, a mix of warmth and structure tends to work best.
Green flag: your therapist revisits specific goals from your treatment plan and uses brief symptom measures so you can see whether you’re actually getting better over time. This is one way therapy stays accountable to your progress.
Is it a red flag if the therapist can’t explain their approach?
Yes. If a therapist uses a lot of jargon but can’t lay out how therapy will help your specific symptoms, that’s concerning. A competent, ethical therapist should be able to say something like: because your anxiety spikes in the evening, we’ll begin with regulation skills you can practice at home, then use IFS to work with parts that feel panicky and consider EMDR for a few specific memories that keep getting triggered.
Green flag: you leave early sessions with a shared understanding of goals, the approach you’ll use, and what to practice between sessions if you find homework helpful.
What communication or boundary issues should I watch for?
Healthy boundaries keep therapy safe and effective. Red flags can include repeated no-shows or last-minute cancellations by the therapist, extremely delayed replies on time-sensitive concerns, or sharing personal information that shifts the focus away from you. Another boundary concern is a therapist giving out a personal cell phone number; most clinicians use secure office lines or practice platforms to protect your privacy and maintain clear limits around when and how to communicate.
Green flag: the practice shares clear policies, uses professional communication channels, and responds within reasonable business hours.
How do I interview a therapist before committing?
Consider asking a few focused questions on a consult call or in your first session:
• What approaches do you use for my concern, and what will that look like week to week?
• How soon can we start, and do you have evening appointments?
• How will we track progress and decide what to adjust if we hit a plateau?
• What kinds of clients do you typically get the best outcomes with?
You’re listening for clarity, collaboration, and humility. The right therapist will answer directly and offer a next step that fits your life.
Where should I start in Lee’s Summit?
If you prefer in-person care, our Lee’s Summit counseling office offers evening times that often fit around school, work, and family schedules: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/lees-summit-blue-springs-counseling
If driving is tough or you live elsewhere in Missouri, telehealth is also available: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/online-therapy
If anxiety is the top concern, this quick read may help you understand how we structure treatment and measure change: https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/anxiety-treatment-in-lees-summit-amp-columbia-how-we-help-you-actually-feel-better
If pain has taken over too much of life, here are two client-friendly posts our readers like:
• What is chronic pain? https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/what-is-chronic-pain
• Why isn’t anything helping my pain? https://aspirecounselingmo.com/blog/why-isnt-anything-helping-my-pain
About the Author
Jessica Oliver (formerly Tappana) is the owner of Aspire Counseling in Missouri. She’s passionate about helping people in Lee’s Summit and across the state access specialized, evidence-based care for anxiety, trauma, OCD, and chronic pain. Jessica leads a team committed to pairing clients with therapists who have both the training and the time to help, while keeping the therapeutic relationship at the center of the work.
