College is Supposed to be the Best Years … So Why Am I So Overwhelmed?
It’s finally here… and it feels like freedom. You’re likely a legal adult, maybe you’re living on your own, and you’re actually getting a taste of what having less rules or parental guidance is like. You get some range in choosing which classes you want to take, what time you want to take them, and in many cases, if you’d like to take class online or in person. Maybe you didn’t have a great high school experience and you’re looking forward to having a fresh start in a new city. You’re in a new environment with other people who have similar goals – meet new people, take classes that you enjoy, and find a career path that you’ll find fulfilling after graduation. But something feels off. Suddenly, you’re having trouble sleeping. You’re distracted in class. You’re missing assignments. Those new friends and that fresh start you were looking forward to is actually not gelling like you imagined before coming to college. That 10:00am class that allows you to sleep in on Wednesdays – it’s hard. And not having those parental rules and guidelines? It can be jolting suddenly waking up with significantly less structure than you had the entirety of your life. College can be the best years of your life, but not without rocking your world a bit too.
Why does college feel so overwhelming even though everyone says it should be fun?
This is all new. Think about it. For most of your life, things were decided for you. If you’re living independently for the first time, you’re not just learning how to be a college student, you’re also learning how to excel in your newfound independence. Everything is new – where you get meals, when your laundry is clean, how to order your books, how you structure your day, and manage your time. It’s all new. Balancing online classes with in person classes. Varying expectations from each of your professors. Keeping it all straight. Oh, and you can go out with your friends on a Wednesday night. A Thursday night. Any night, really. So much freedom. So much to keep track of. And in many cases, a lot less resources and support to make sure you’re accomplishing it all. College opens so many doors. There’s really no one there to tell you no or to gently nudge you to set boundaries with your time. All of those exciting opportunities, both academically and socially, paired with the newfound independence start to feel heavy.
Is it normal to feel anxious all the time in college?
Is it normal to feel anxious? Yes. All of the time? No. Anxiety is a normal emotion that everyone feels. In many cases, anxiety is actually helpful. It’s helps alert our brains when something feels off (ie: “is someone following me to my car?”), when something feels “big” (ie: an exam, a presentation, a date), or when something feels new such as going to a party where you don’t know anyone, walking into a huge auditorium for class, or rushing Greek Life. These are just a few examples. In many ways, anxiety is actually functional – meaning, it takes care of us. It helps us be on the lookout to maintain safety, preparedness, and awareness. But it shouldn’t be working all of the time. It’s expected for anxiety to decrease as the weeks and months go by in college after students gain comfortability and confidence attending their classes, establishing the flow of their daily life, and finding meaningful connection with their peers. But that isn’t everyone’s experience. Some students find themselves panicking on their walk to class, distracted or so overwhelmed with the amount of school work they have trouble falling or staying asleep at night, find difficulty in staying on top of their school work while simultaneously trying to make new friends and maintain those friendships.
Why does being away from home make anxiety or depression worse?
Anxiety and depression crave structure, predictability, and routine. When the brain knows the plan it feels safe and more relaxed. When you go to a new environment such as college with so many opportunities, you lose natural structure, predictability, and routine.
How can a college student manage anxiety without falling behind in school?
Manage your time. Use a planner. Make time for your hobbies. Get outside. Engage in regular exercise to increase your endorphins to combat that spike in anxiety. Talk to your peers. Talk to your parents. And if that doesn’t work, talk to a therapist.
What are signs that a college student should talk to a therapist?
If your college stress is impacting multiple areas of your life, it’s time to talk to a therapist. Various areas of life that stress impacts include sleep, hygiene, school (either attendance or performance), friendships/dating/family relationships, your self-worth, your internal dialogue, your health and wellness, your energy levels, your motivation. If you find yourself withdrawing, not engaging in hobbies that you typically enjoy, or isolating yourself, know that these are signs that it’s time for a change and professional help is there for you.
Can online therapy work for college students?
Absolutely! In many case, online therapy is a great option because it allows the student to participate in therapy from the comfort of their own space. It’s one last place they have to figure out transportation for and the time management to get to an appointment. The student can simply get comfy, log into their appointment, and receive quality treatment to reduce their anxiety symptoms and begin enjoying college as some of the best years of their life.
About the Author
Ashley Elder, MSW, LCSW, LSCSW is a licensed therapist in the states of Missouri and Kansas with over a decade of experience. Ashley is a seasoned mental health professional dedicated to helping teenagers, families, and young adults navigate anxiety, depression, and trauma. Ashley specializes in evidence-based treatments—specifically DBT, TF-CBT, CBT, and CPP—and has spent much of her career in inpatient and outpatient settings treating complex issues like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation. Beyond the clinic, Ashley has served as an adjunct professor at the University of Missouri School of Social Work undergraduate and graduate programs, an adjunct professor at Columbia College, and as a guest instructor for the MU School of Medicine. By blending clinical expertise with a focus on the therapeutic relationship, Ashley guides a person through life's most challenging "now what?" moments.
