Finding a Work/Life Balance
Stress can feel like the norm. Life is full of potential stressors, both expected and completely unexpected. Stressors can be anything
we see, hear, or imagine—from having to sit in rush hour traffic, hearing a distressing story on the news, or receiving a medical bill in the mail. Experiencing a lot of stressors may mean that we don’t always have the time, energy, or mental capacity to do things for ourselves or for or families and friends. It can show up as lack of sleep, feeling sick or achy all the time, or having difficulties focusing on concentrating on tasks.
Our moods may be more unpredictable: we may feel numb and detached, or we may feel irritable or even experience crying spells and feeling overwhelmed. Our body’s stress response engages the fight, flight or freeze response within our body—this response reacts to a real or imagined threat and is a survival skill that sends signals to the body to act: we get a rush of adrenaline, our heart races, we may become short of breath and our pupils may dilate as we prepare to address the threat. Once the threat is gone or we have found a way to work through it our body can relax and revert to our body’s baseline functioning. The struggle is that sometimes, this does not always happen—we may find ourselves in a place in our lives where we experience multiple stressors, every day, sometimes without much of a break in between.
If we’re constantly in this cycle, we may begin to see some detrimental effects: loss of sleep, high blood pressure, stomach or digestive issues, random muscle aches, headaches, even breakouts or hair loss. Awareness of work stressors The problem is that we cannot always control the stressors—life is difficult and throws a LOT at us. The good news is that we don’t always have to be stuck in the stress response---there are things that we can actively do and practice to try and reduce some of these stressors. One major shift in changing those patterns is thinking about our work/life balance. What does that mean? And more importantly, how can we achieve it and (hopefully) reduce the discomfort and the ill effects from stressors?
Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash downloaded 4/21/23
Defining the Work/Life Balance
Our work can be many things: fulfilling, exciting, a source of identity (and of course income). It can also be one of the biggest sources of stress. Establishing a successful work/life balance can be an attempt to limit the pressures and demands of our jobs where we can. Work/life balance itself can mean different things to people, depending on their needs. Maybe it requires reducing the hours spent at work if possible, modifying your daily schedule to avoid unnecessary overtime, or turning off email notifications after a certain time. For those that work from home, maybe it means keeping your home office door closed during non-work hours, or physically shutting down your computer and cleaning your workspace at the end of the work day.
Work/life balance can also look like taking breaks when necessary: being able to take a lunch (away from your computer or work area if possible!) or purposely scheduling uninterrupted time in your day just for you. The comfortable work/life balance can sometimes be hard to find—some weeks we may feel more strained than others. There may be times our work schedule is more demanding, or we have deadlines that make taking breaks difficult. For ourselves and our colleagues, work/life balance means supporting one another in observing our personal limits—and those limits of our colleagues—to meet both professional and personal needs. It means respecting the boundaries of our co-workers---and our own boundaries as well. If someone is struggling or having difficulties, what needs to happen for them to get their needs met? When things are stressful, how do we support a co-worker that asks for help on tasks or communicates that their schedule is full and they don’t feel they can take on more work? How do we let others know if we are having the same experiences?
Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash downloaded 4/21/23
Maintain communication with colleagues and/or direct supervisors.
Others are not always aware of the signs of burnout in themselves or others, and nothing can change without
communication.
Being aware of boundaries—your own and the others set by co-workers.
Boundaries are different for everyone, so the amount of work and energy levels we have are going to vary from that of our colleagues or supervisor. Our individual workloads and daily tasks can look very different, as well as the time required for each of those tasks.
Talk about how tasks are assigned at work if possible.
Burnout and stress cannot always be avoided, but if someone feels overwhelmed in their job, this could be examined more closely to problem solve as a team. Talking about the most common stressors at work can be validating to others and help them feel less alone in their stress.
Purposefully schedule days off to focus on mental health and rest.
The tasks to find a work/life balance are up to the individual, but these could be helpful in working toward a better awareness of responsibilities and stress and coping with these.
Communication is Key
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash downloaded 4/21/23
There may be no perfect “work/life” balance—we may find that there are times we simply cannot do everything because it’s just not possible, nor is it healthy or sustainable for us to try. Be aware of your personal boundaries. Do we sometimes say yes to things when we want to say no? Are we afraid of upsetting someone, making them angry, or not being seen as a team player? Burning ourselves out trying to do everything when we neither have the time nor the energy can be detrimental to our mental and physical health—it’s up to us to be aware and speak up. Nothing can change if we don’t communicate and express those needs.
Communication can be valuable in maintaining our boundaries and letting others know where we stand. If we don’t have time in our schedule to volunteer extra hours or to stay late at work, it’s okay to say so. It’s okay to reach out for help if we need it—we may not always receive the response we hope for, but it’s a start in problem solving and establishing a healthy balance for ourselves.
Counseling in Missouri
At Aspire Counseling, we understand how difficult it can be to manage work and life balance. And understand that most of the time, we tend to overwork ourselves without realizing. Along with working with stress, life transitions, and change, we also work with OCD, anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, and much more. We encourage you to reach out if you are located in the state of Missouri, as we can provide virtual counseling to any within the state, and work with those in person at our Columbia and Lee’s Summit offices. Reach out today to begin your journey with therapy.
Check out our Blog Video
About the Author
Megan Pruett is an LPC at Aspire Counseling. Megan specializes in working with adults experiencing trauma, disordered eating, stress, depression, grief, relationships, OCD, and so much more. Megan values building a therapeutic relationship with her clients, along with providing evidence-based treatment. When Megan isn’t working at Aspire she enjoys revamping and restoring old furniture.
