How Do I Know If I Have PTSD? A Trauma Therapist Explains the Signs Most People Miss
By Jessica Oliver MSW, LCSW | Aspire Counseling
Jessica Oliver is the founder and Clinical Director of Aspire Counseling, a trauma and anxiety therapy practice with offices in Lee's Summit and Columbia, Missouri. She has been treating PTSD since 2012 and specializes in EMDR, CPT, and trauma therapy intensives.
You're the person everyone counts on.
At work, you're the one who keeps the project moving, the inbox under control, the team on track. Maybe you're leading meetings at Cerner or Garmin, or juggling deadlines while trying to make it to your kid's pickup line at Lee's Summit West before the bell rings. From the outside, you look steady. Capable. Fine.
But inside?
Your chest tightens on the drive home. Your heart races when your phone buzzes. You snap at the people you love, then feel awful about it. You lie awake at night replaying conversations from the day, wondering why you can't just "let it go."
You tell yourself the past is in the past. You tell yourself you should be grateful. You tell yourself other people have had it worse.
But your body isn't buying it.
And here's the truth most high-functioning people don't realize:
PTSD doesn't always look like what you think. Sometimes it looks like a panic attack in the Target parking lot. Sometimes it looks like avoiding certain parts of Kansas City because they bring up memories you'd rather not feel. Sometimes it looks like being so "on edge" at a KC Current game that you can't even enjoy the moment.
If any of this sounds familiar, you're not alone — and you're not imagining it.
Let's talk about the signs of PTSD that high-achieving, high-functioning people often miss.
"If I Had PTSD, I Would Know" — Why That's a Myth
Most people picture PTSD as something dramatic — flashbacks, nightmares, uncontrollable panic. And yes, those can happen.
But for many high-functioning professionals, PTSD looks quieter.
High Functioning PTSD may look like:
Being the strong one for everyone else
Staying busy so you don't have to think
Feeling numb even when life is objectively good
Avoiding certain conversations, places, or people
Feeling disconnected from your partner or kids
Being exhausted from holding it together all day
PTSD often hides behind productivity, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.
You're not weak. You're overwhelmed.
The Four PTSD Symptom Clusters — In Real-Life Terms
Here's what PTSD can look like in someone who "seems fine."
1. Intrusive Symptoms: The Past Interrupts the Present
This might look like:
Replaying conversations or mistakes over and over
Sudden waves of panic that feel "out of nowhere"
Nightmares or waking up exhausted
Feeling like you're back in a moment you'd rather forget
You might be sitting in a meeting at T-Mobile or grabbing coffee at Messenger Coffee downtown when your body suddenly reacts like something is wrong — even when nothing is.
2. Avoidance: The Silent Saboteur
Avoidance is one of the biggest signs of PTSD, and it's often overlooked.
Avoidance might look like:
Avoiding certain parts of the city
Taking a different route home
Staying late at work so you don't have to sit with your thoughts
Avoiding relationships because closeness feels dangerous
Skipping events because you don't want to feel overwhelmed
You might even avoid joy — because joy feels vulnerable.
3. Negative Thoughts & Mood: The Quiet Erosion
Trauma often changes how we view ourselves, others and the world as a whole. What happens either makes no sense in light of our old thoughts and we develop new ones to match our experiences, OR it reinforces negative beliefs that existed prior to the trauma. But these negative thoughts? They keep you stuck. They hold you back.
Negative thoughts after trauma can look like:
Feeling numb or disconnected
Struggling to feel joy even when good things happen
Harsh self-criticism
Feeling like you're "too much" or "not enough"
Feeling like you're watching your life instead of living it
You might be at a Super Bowl party next year — hopefully cheering on the Chiefs again — and still feel strangely detached from everyone around you.
4. Hyperarousal: Living in a Constant State of Alert
To survive the trauma, your body became extra alert. It was a positive thing. This helped you get through the trauma itself and immediate aftermath. Maybe you even needed to live like this for years if you have C-PTSD. But now? It’s getting in the way of living life.
Hyperarousal might look like:
Feeling tense or "on edge"
Startling easily
Trouble relaxing
Irritability that surprises even you
Difficulty sleeping because your brain won't shut off
You might be sitting at your kid's basketball game at Summit Lakes Middle School and realize you haven't taken a full breath in 20 minutes.
The Signs High-Functioning People Miss
If you're a high achiever, you've likely built a life around coping — not healing.
Here are signs you might be stuck in survival mode after trauma:
You fall apart at home but hold it together at work
You push people away even though you want connection
You feel like you're "too much" for others
You're exhausted from being the strong one
You're terrified of being vulnerable
You're successful but deeply unhappy
You're constantly bracing for something bad to happen
You feel like you're living two lives: the one people see and the one you actually experience
If this is you, it's not a character flaw. It's a trauma response.
"But My Trauma Wasn't That Bad…" — Why Minimizing Is a Trauma Response
High-functioning people are experts at minimizing.
You tell yourself:
"It wasn't that bad." "Other people have had it worse." "I should be over this by now."
But trauma isn't defined by how dramatic it looks from the outside.
Trauma is anything that overwhelms your ability to cope. Your nervous system doesn't care whether it "should" have been traumatic.
If something happened that changed the way you see yourself, others, or the world — it counts. And your PTSD symptoms can actually get worse over time when trauma goes unaddressed, no matter how "minor" it seemed.
A Quick Self-Check: 10 Questions to Help You Understand Your Symptoms
Ask yourself:
Do I feel constantly on edge?
Do I avoid certain places, people, or conversations?
Do I feel disconnected from my life or relationships?
Do I have trouble sleeping or waking up rested?
Do I replay memories or conversations repeatedly?
Do I feel like I'm "too much" or "not enough"?
Do I feel panic or dread without a clear reason?
Do I push people away even when I want closeness?
Do I feel like I'm living in survival mode?
Do I feel like I've never fully processed something from my past?
If you said yes to several of these, you may be dealing with PTSD — even if you've been functioning at a high level. For a deeper look at some of the most commonly overlooked indicators, our post on 5 signs you may have PTSD covers what to watch for and how to get help in the Lee's Summit area.
Why High-Functioning People Stay Stuck
You're used to performing under pressure. You learned early that emotions weren't safe. You became the responsible one, the achiever, the fixer. You're great at coping — but coping isn't healing.
Healing requires something deeper.
And that's where working with a true trauma expert matters.
Why You Need a Trauma Specialist — Not Just a Therapist
Talking about your week can help you cope. Learning coping skills can help you get through the day.
But if you want to actually heal — to stop carrying the past into every room you walk into — you need someone trained to safely help you process trauma.
Otherwise, it's like opening a container full of tangled yarn without knowing how to sort through it. You pull one string and everything gets messier. You shut the lid again and tell yourself you'll deal with it later.
A trauma specialist knows how to:
Open the container gently
Untangle the strings one by one
Help you make sense of the mess
Put everything back in a way that feels organized, contained, and safe
This is what we do at Aspire Counseling.
Our therapists are trained in evidence-based trauma treatments including EMDR, Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), TF-CBT, and IFS. We also offer trauma therapy intensives — a one-to-two-week concentrated CPT program for people who want to make significant progress quickly.
We don't guess. We don't wing it. We don't "just talk."
We help you heal.
The Good News: PTSD Is Highly Treatable
PTSD is not a life sentence.
With evidence-based trauma therapy:
Your nervous system can calm
Your sleep can improve
Your relationships can feel safer
Your panic can decrease
Your joy can return
You can go to a KC Current game and actually enjoy it. You can sit at a Chiefs Super Bowl party and feel connected instead of on edge. You can pick your kid up from school without your heart racing. You can feel like yourself again.
At Aspire Counseling, we track our clients' progress using standardized clinical measures. For clients who came to us with PTSD symptoms, their scores on the PCL-5 dropped from an average of 30.8 at the start of treatment to 14.09 at 20 weeks — an effect size of .93, which researchers consider a large and clinically meaningful improvement. That's not a vague promise. That's measurable change.
How Trauma Therapy at Aspire Counseling Works
At Aspire Counseling, trauma therapy is our specialty. It's what we were founded to do in 2017, and it's still at the heart of everything we offer.
We start with stabilization. You set the pace. You don't have to tell your whole story. In fact, you don't even need to remember all the details for treatment to work. We help you process what happened in a way that feels safe and contained.
We use approaches including:
EMDR — helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories using bilateral stimulation
CPT — identifies and challenges the "stuck points" that keep you trapped in guilt, shame, or self-blame
TF-CBT — designed specifically for children and teens who have experienced trauma
IFS — helps you understand and work with the different parts of yourself that developed in response to trauma
Learn more about trauma therapy at Aspire Counseling →
When to Reach Out for Help for PTSD/Trauma
Reach out to a specialized trauma therapist when:
You're tired of holding it together
You're exhausted from being strong
You're ready to stop surviving and start living
You want to feel connected again
You want to feel like yourself again
You don't have to have it all figured out before you call. You don't need a diagnosis. You just need to be willing to take the first step.
You Don't Have to Carry Your Trauma Alone
If you're in Lee's Summit, Blue Springs, Kansas City, Columbia, or anywhere in Missouri, our trauma specialists are here to help.
Call us at (816) 287-1116 for our Lee's Summit office or (573) 328-2288 for Columbia. You can also request an appointment online. We offer in-person sessions at both locations and online therapy throughout Missouri.
Every new client starts with a free 30-minute consultation so you can talk with a therapist directly and see if it feels right.
No pressure, no judgment—just compassionate support when you're ready.
About the Author
Jessica Oliver (formerly Jessica Tappana), LCSW, is the founder and Clinical Director of Aspire Counseling. She has been treating trauma and PTSD since earning her Master's of Social Work in 2012 and specializes in Cognitive Processing Therapy, EMDR, and trauma therapy intensives.
Jessica founded Aspire Counseling in 2017 because she wanted to create a practice where every client gets therapy that's backed by research — not guesswork. She leads a team of trauma-trained therapists who work with adults, teens, and children across Missouri, treating everything from childhood trauma and sexual assault to traumatic loss, health-related trauma, and on-the-job trauma for professionals including first responders and law enforcement.
When she's not in session or leading the practice, Jessica is usually traveling, reading about the latest trauma research, or attending yet another training — because she believes her clients deserve a therapist who never stops learning.
About Aspire Counseling
Aspire Counseling provides specialized therapy for trauma, anxiety, OCD, and depression at our offices in Lee's Summit and Columbia, Missouri, as well as online throughout the state. Our therapists are trained in evidence-based approaches including EMDR, CPT, ERP, IFS, TF-CBT, and ACT. We offer free 30-minute consultations to help you find the right therapist. Call (816) 287-1116 or reach out online to get started.
