Learning to Regulate Your Autonomic Nervous System
Some days your mind won't slow down. Your heart races, your thoughts pile up, and you feel like you're bracing for something even when nothing's wrong. Other days it's the opposite. You feel heavy, foggy, and stuck to the couch, like your body just powered off.
If either of those sounds familiar, your autonomic nervous system is doing exactly what it was built to do. It's trying to protect you. The good news is that you can learn to work with it. This post is about how to notice which state you're in and what actually helps you shift out of it. (If you want the bigger picture of how all of this works, we break that down in What Is Polyvagal Theory? A Simple Guide to Understanding Your Nervous System.)
What is your autonomic nervous system?
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is the feeling and sensing part of your nervous system. It's regulated by your vagus nerve, which is the second longest nerve in your body.
Your ANS is in charge of the automatic processes that kick in when something signals either danger or safety. Because it's automatic, it doesn't always listen to what your brain tells it to do. It can also work without you even being aware it's happening.
This is why it can feel so invalidating/infuriating/impossible when someone says to you, “Just calm down.” Or why sometimes even you notice that you seem to have a bigger response than you logically think a situation calls for.
Your ANS has three different pathways. Each one, when activated, goes through a series of physical and psychological changes to protect you. Yes, your survival is your ANS number one priority!
Why do I feel calm sometimes and panicked other times?
A lot of that comes down to which ANS pathway is active. There are three, plus a few blends.
Sympathetic mobilization is your body's fight-or-flight response. When this pathway is active, you might feel anger, anxiety, or panic. This includes both physical and psychological responses. You might feel on edge, have racing thoughts, or struggle to concentrate. You may notice nightmares, flashbacks, trouble sleeping, a faster heart rate, shallow breathing, or muscle tension.
Dorsal vagal is your body's collapse response. "Dorsal vagal" just means the shutdown branch of your nervous system. Again, this has common physical and psychological responses associated with it. When this pathway is active, you might feel sad, depressed, numb, or shut down. You may feel dissociated, which means feeling disconnected from yourself or the world around you. You might also notice more cravings, a slower heart rate, slower breathing, and fatigue.
Ventral vagal is your body's safety and regulated response. "Ventral vagal" is the branch that helps you feel settled and connected. When this pathway is active, you feel calm, safe, focused, and clear. Your heart rate and breathing are normal, your energy feels balanced, and you feel just right.
Why do I feel anxious and shut down at the same time?
Sometimes two pathways combine. These are called blended pathways.
For example, the freeze response happens when sympathetic mobilization and dorsal vagal combine. This is where you can feel activated and frozen at the same time. If you've ever felt wired and numb all at once, you might recognize this. We wrote more about that shut-down, numb feeling in Feeling Emotionally Numb? What Your Shutdown Is Trying to Tell You.
When sympathetic mobilization and ventral vagal combine, you get play and performance. You have energy and you feel safe at the same time.
When dorsal vagal and ventral vagal combine, you get stillness. You feel relaxed and safe at the same time.
How do I calm my nervous system?
Getting to know where you are in your ANS is a helpful first step. Once you can name the pathway you're in, you can start to shift toward the one you'd prefer. Most of the time, that's your ventral vagal (safety) pathway or a ventral vagal blend.
Here's the tricky part. Because your ANS is automatic, it only takes a couple of seconds to activate one of these pathways. But it takes quite a bit longer to shift out of a danger pathway and back into a safety pathway.
To start that shift, you can use coping skills that either turn the volume up inside you or turn the volume down inside you.
If you feel anxious or ramped up, try turning the volume down
If you're already in an activated state, in your body and/or your mind, you'll want techniques that help center and ground you. Some examples include:
Slow breathing
Walking barefoot on the grass
Listening to calming music
Visualization
Meditation
If you feel numb or shut down, try turning the volume up
If you're already deactivated, both in your body and your mind, you'll want techniques that activate you and get your blood pumping again. A few examples:
Letting sunlight into your room, or standing outside in the sun
Taking a walk
Listening to uplifting music
Exercise
Begin Therapy to Support Nervous System in Missouri
Learning to work with your nervous system takes practice, and you don't have to figure it out alone. At Aspire Counseling, we can help you get to know your ANS and learn the volume-up and volume-down techniques that help you regulate.
Many of our clinicians have specialized training in trauma treatment, including EMDR and polyvagal-informed approaches, so this is familiar ground for us. If you're in Columbia, you can reach our office at 573-328-2288. If you're in the Kansas City area, you can reach our Lee's Summit office at 816-287-1116. We also offer online therapy to clients across Missouri.
Whenever you're ready for effective care and lasting change, we're here.
Where this information comes from
The information in this blog is based on Rebecca Kase's The Applied Polyvagal Theory Flip Chart. Several of us at Aspire Counseling, including Katherine, attended Rebecca Kase's training in Overland Park in Spring 2025, and we've drawn on it regularly ever since. If you'd like to learn more about polyvagal theory and the autonomic nervous system, please contact Aspire Counseling to get set up with one of our providers.
About the Author
Katherine Ottofy, MSW, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 15 years of experience supporting clients in Columbia, MO. She specializes in trauma recovery using EMDR, and in reducing and managing OCD using Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. She was trained in Polyvagal Informed EMDR in 2025 and regularly leads the EMDR consultation group for all EMDR trained therapists at our practice. At Aspire Counseling, she's committed to providing compassionate, expert care both in person and through secure online therapy for clients across Missouri.
