Mom's Mental Health Matters

Being a mom is hard. It's one of the hardest things that you will ever do in your life. It requires all of your time, energy, and attention. But when mental health isn't part of the equation it can lead to burnout which will ultimately impact how well moms are able to parent their children. When moms neglect themselves they are more likely to be angry with their kids for no reason or feel like they have lost control over what happens in their household. So if you're a mom who wants to be the best possible parent then it starts with prioritizing your own mental health needs!

Where I'm coming from...

So first, I'm going to give the disclaimer that maternal mental health hasn't always been a focus of mine. To be honest, much of my personal career journey has been spent working with children and teenagers. Right before opening my private practice, I actually spent two years working with children who had special needs (often very tied to their mental health) ages 6-18 in a school setting. It was amazing. And when I opened my practice, I had taken trainings on play therapy & TF-CPT assuming I'd be working primarily with children. But then...I realized how much I loved working with teenagers. I mean the teens who nobody else could reach. The ones who insist they'll never enjoy counseling. So, for most of the past 4 years I've focused primarily on working with teenagers and college students.

But I've found myself shifting the focus of my work a bit the last couple of years. I've gradually found myself working with more and more moms. Often moms of teenagers, but not always.

Why? Because I've spent so many years listening to the teenagers talk about their parents and supported parents through parent sessions and family sessions enough that I think that viewpoint actually helps me better support parents. And while my own kids are younger than most of my clients, just being a mom myself I think also gives me an added appreciation for the challenges that come with parenting.

What I've Learned As a Parent Myself

But what I've learned from sitting with countless young people and from my own experience as a mother is that our mental health matters too.

Early on I often remarked that there seemed to be a direct correlation between my own mental health and my son's. When I was struggling with my mood (stress at work, caregiving stress or just life) I noticed he would act up more or seem more anxious. On the other hand, even if everything else in my life was perfect when he started struggling in any way (and he had asthma so there were plenty of those moments), I would start to spiral with worry. What I learned (much credit here goes to my own therapy) was that when I took better care of my own mental health, I could do a better job being the calm, steady presence that he needed even in his toughest moments. Now that I have a second child as well, I've found the same goes for her. Attending to my own needs, prioritizing my own mental health without a doubt makes me a better parent.

But it's not just me...

My professional experience has validated that I'm not alone. My teenage clients have shown me just how much it stresses them out when their mom is stressed. I've heard children worry about their parent's well-being so much that it impacts their own mental health. I've coached kids through opening up to parents that they were afraid wouldn't be able to handle hearing how much they were hurting. At times I've sat with kids to describe the sadness they feel when they see their parents struggling. And, unfortunately, I've heard kids express that they must not need therapy since their parent struggles as much or more and isn't in therapy.

Somehow, Mom's don't always see how important caring for their own mental health is

This perspective has been invaluable as I've sat with stressed-out mom's the last couple of years. I've heard them insist that they don't have time to prioritize their own mental health. Or that they'll get help when their teen is feeling better.

But I've also seen the power of a mom getting therapy. I've watched parents attend therapy, make progress and then their reluctant teenagers decide that they too are ready to prioritize their mental health. In fact, this has happened frequently that I've smiled my adult clients report that their child is finally ready and engaging in therapy themself. Additionally, I've seen mom's feel less stressed even though all the struggles of parenting don't disappear. Mom's have found themselves again and shown their children that they are strong enough to support their child going through life changes. And, I've seen mom's have the strength to cope with the most stressful situations their families have ever gone through. Because they've done their own work, they've been able to be that rock when their entire family is in crisis.

It's time to focus on your mental health

I've come to really believe in the power of mother's putting their own mental health first. I've seen it in my own life, in the lives of my clients and their families. It's not always easy- but it is worth it. Even though you're a mother, or maybe especially because you're a mother YOU deserve to feel supported and work toward your own personal happiness. You deserve to be the best possible, most at peace version of yourself. And if you do, you'll also enrich the lives of your children, teach them that their mental health also matters and be a better parent both in times of crisis and peace.

Moms' Mental Health Matters!

Are you ready to prioritize your own mental wellbeing?

Does this really resonate with you? Have you tried and tried and tried to support your family but notice that you're personally just feeling more frayed? Do you feel like you've lost yourself? Maybe you're even suffering from depression or an anxiety disorder yourself. If so, it's time to acknowledge that your mental health truly does matter and maybe even time for professional support.

If you live in the state of Missouri, I'd love to help or find another one of my clinicians who may be a great fit. While our counseling office is in Columbia, MO, many of our clients choose virtual counseling sessions instead. This way, you can meet with me or another therapist from the comfort of your own home or even on a lunch break at work. Also, we're able to see anyone in the state of Missouri online so I've seen mothers for virtual appointments who live in rural Missouri where there are fewer options for therapists to see, in busier areas of the state like Kansas City where they don't want to deal with the traffic or even local mom's who just find it more convenient to meet online.

So, whether you'd rather come to our office in person or need the convenience of virtual appointments, the first step is to reach out to our client care team. You can call us directly at 573-328-2288 ext 1 or just fill out this form online.

About the Author

Jessica is the founder of Aspire Counseling. These days, she stays busy running Aspire Counseling as well as a second business that helps other therapists. But her favorite part of the job is still meeting 1:1 for therapy sessions with clients. Historically, she's worked with a wide range of ages from elementary-age children through retirement but always focused heavily on treating anxiety, trauma & stress.

Other Mental Health Services

You aren’t just a mother. You are a person. And therefore, all of your mental health concerns don’t revolve around your identity as a mother. Great news-Aspire Counseling can help with all of those mental health needs. Or we can even support other members of your family. Our therapists have several different specialties including anxiety treatment, trauma therapy/PTSD treatment (including specialized care for survivors of sexual assault & PTSD treatment for children), bereavement counseling, depression counseling, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and more.

Our counselors offer in person support at our Columbia, MO counseling office or work with people throughout the state of Missouri using online counseling with our secure, HIPAA compliant telehealth video chat platform.