The “Blow Down the Tree” Technique: A Simple Calming Strategy for Anxious Kids
Your child is spiraling. Their heart is racing. They're breathing fast. Their mind is filled with "what ifs" and they can't seem to calm down.
You want to help, but nothing you say seems to work. "Just calm down" doesn't help. "Take a deep breath" gets met with resistance. You need something that actually works in the moment.
Enter the "Blow Down the Tree" technique—a simple, playful strategy that helps anxious elementary-age children calm their bodies and minds quickly.
This technique is one of many practical strategies for helping your anxious or traumatized child. Whether you're seeking child counseling in Columbia, MO, therapy for anxious children, or support after trauma, having tools like this in your toolkit makes a real difference.
What Is the "Blow Down the Tree" Technique?
The "Blow Down the Tree" technique is a breathing exercise disguised as a game. It's especially effective with children ages 4-10 who might resist traditional deep breathing exercises.
The Basic Concept
You hold up your arm like a tree trunk, with your fingers spread like branches. Your child "blows" on your fingers (the branches) to try to make them bend. You resist at first, then gradually let your fingers bend as they blow harder and longer.
The magic? While they're focused on blowing down your tree, they're actually doing slow, controlled breathing—which activates their parasympathetic nervous system and calms their body's stress response.
Why It's So Effective
Kids don't want to "do breathing exercises." That sounds boring and feels like work. But playing a game where they get to "blow down" your tree? That's fun. And because they're focused on the game, they stop resisting and just breathe.
Why It Works for Anxious Elementary-Age Children
Understanding why this technique works helps you use it more effectively and adapt it when needed.
It Activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System
When your child is anxious, their sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight) is activated. Their body is prepared for danger: heart racing, breathing fast, muscles tense.
Deep, slow breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest), which tells the body "you're safe now." This:
Slows heart rate
Lowers blood pressure
Reduces muscle tension
Calms racing thoughts
It's Playful and Non-Threatening
Anxious children often feel self-conscious about their anxiety. When you tell them to "do deep breathing," they might resist because it feels like you're pointing out that something's wrong with them.
But a game? That's just fun. There's no judgment, no pressure, no emphasis on the fact that they're anxious.
It Gives Them a Sense of Control
Anxiety often makes children feel powerless. In this game, they're the one with the power—they're making your tree bend. This sense of control is psychologically important.
It's a Distraction Technique
While they're focused on blowing down the tree, they're not focused on their anxious thoughts. This momentary break from worry allows their nervous system to reset.
It Works Quickly
Unlike some calming strategies that take time to learn or practice, this one works immediately. Even on the first try, your child gets the benefit of deep breathing.
Step-by-Step Guide to Teaching Your Child This Technique
Here's exactly how to introduce and use the "Blow Down the Tree" technique with your child.
Step 1: Introduce It When They're Calm
Don't wait for a meltdown to introduce this technique. Practice when your child is calm so it's familiar when they need it.
What to say: "I want to teach you a fun game that can help when you're feeling worried or upset. It's called 'Blow Down the Tree.' Want to try it?"
Step 2: Demonstrate the Setup
Hold up your arm with your elbow bent and your hand in the air. Spread your fingers wide.
What to say: "My arm is the tree trunk, and my fingers are the branches. Your job is to blow on the branches to try to make the tree bend over."
Step 3: Have Them Try It
Let your child blow on your fingers. At first, resist—keep your fingers straight and strong.
What to say: "Wow, this is a strong tree! You need to blow harder and longer to make it bend!"
Step 4: Gradually Let Your Fingers Bend
As they blow longer and stronger, slowly let your fingers bend down. Make it a challenge—they need to blow for several seconds to "win."
What to say (as your fingers bend): "Oh no! The tree is starting to bend! Keep blowing!"
Step 5: Practice Together
Try it a few times so they get the hang of it. You can take turns—they can be the tree and you blow, then switch.
Step 6: Talk About When to Use It
What to say: "This is a great game to play when your body feels worried or upset. When you notice your heart beating fast or your tummy feeling yucky, you can ask me to play Blow Down the Tree, and it will help your body calm down."
When to Use It (and When Not To)
Like any tool, this technique works best in specific situations. Here's when to use it and when to try something else.
When to Use Blow Down the Tree
During Mild to Moderate Anxiety
When your child is starting to feel anxious but hasn't completely melted down yet, this is perfect. You'll see signs like:
Worried thoughts starting
Breathing getting faster
Body getting tense
Starting to get upset
Before Anxiety-Triggering Situations
Use it proactively before situations you know trigger anxiety:
On the way to school
Before a doctor's appointment
Before a social event
At bedtime when worries come
After a Stressful Event
If something happened that upset your child, use this to help them calm down and reset.
When They Request It
Once they've learned the technique, many children will ask for it when they need it. This is great—it means they're learning to recognize their own anxiety and ask for help.
When NOT to Use It
During a Full Meltdown
If your child is in a full-blown panic attack or emotional meltdown, they might not be able to engage with this game. Wait until they're slightly calmer, then offer it.
When They're Resistant
If your child refuses or says they don't want to play, don't force it. Forcing the game defeats the purpose and can create negative associations.
For Serious Trauma Responses
If your child is having a trauma response (flashback, dissociation, severe panic), this technique alone isn't enough. They need trauma-informed support and possibly professional intervention.
Other Similar Grounding and Calming Techniques
Once your child masters Blow Down the Tree, you can add other techniques to their calming toolkit.
Bubble Breathing
Pretend to blow bubbles (with or without an actual bubble wand). The slow, controlled breath needed to blow bubbles is naturally calming.
How to do it: "Let's blow some bubbles! Take a deep breath in, then blow out slowly to make big, beautiful bubbles."
Birthday Candle Breathing
Hold up fingers like birthday candles. Have your child "blow out" one candle at a time with slow breaths.
How to do it: "We have five birthday candles to blow out. Take a deep breath, then blow out one candle. Good! Now another deep breath for the next candle..."
Smell the Flower, Blow Out the Candle
This is traditional deep breathing with a fun visualization.
How to do it: "Pretend you're smelling a beautiful flower. Breathe in through your nose. Now pretend you're blowing out a candle. Blow out slowly through your mouth."
Dragon Breaths
For kids who like feeling powerful, dragon breaths are great.
How to do it: "Let's do dragon breaths! Breathe in like you're gathering fire, then breathe out like a dragon breathing fire. Make it strong and slow!"
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
This isn't a breathing technique, but it pairs well with Blow Down the Tree.
How to do it: After you play Blow Down the Tree, do a quick grounding exercise:
Name 5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
Making It a Regular Practice
The more your child practices these techniques, the more automatic they become.
Daily Practice Time
Set aside 2-3 minutes each day to practice calming techniques together. Make it part of your routine:
After school snack time
Before bed
During car rides
Model Using It Yourself
Let your child see you using calming techniques when you're stressed.
What to say: "I'm feeling stressed right now, so I'm going to do some deep breathing. Want to help me blow down the tree?"
Praise Their Use of It
When you notice your child using the technique independently or asking for it, celebrate that.
What to say: "I love that you noticed you were feeling worried and asked to play Blow Down the Tree. That's such a grown-up thing to do!"
Keep It Light and Fun
This should never feel like a chore or homework. Keep it playful and low-pressure.
When Home Strategies Need Professional Support
Techniques like Blow Down the Tree are incredibly helpful, but they're not a substitute for professional help when your child's anxiety is significantly impacting their life.
Signs Your Child Needs More Than Home Strategies
Using calming techniques isn't reducing their overall anxiety levels
Anxiety is interfering with school, friendships, or daily activities
They're avoiding more and more situations
Physical symptoms are frequent and distressing
You're feeling overwhelmed and don't know what else to try
Professional therapy gives children deeper skills for managing anxiety and addresses the root causes, not just the symptoms.
Get Expert Help for Your Anxious Child in Mid Missouri
At Aspire Counseling, we teach children throughout Columbia, Jefferson City, Lee's Summit, and all of Mid Missouri practical techniques like Blow Down the Tree—along with evidence-based therapy that addresses anxiety at its core.
Madi, one of our child specialists, loves teaching creative, playful techniques like this to elementary-age children. She makes therapy engaging and effective, helping kids build a full toolkit of strategies they can use anywhere, anytime.
Our anxiety therapy for children includes:
Age-appropriate calming techniques your child will actually use
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to address anxious thoughts
Gradual exposure to help children face their fears
Parent coaching so you know how to support at home
Ready to help your child feel calmer and more confident?
Call (573) 328-2288 to speak with our Client Care Specialist about your child's anxiety
Learn about our specialized therapy for anxious children in Missouri
Explore our comprehensive child counseling services
You're already doing a great job by learning techniques to help your child. Let us give you the additional support you need.
About the Author
Jessica Tappana, MSW, LCSW founded Aspire Counseling to provide exceptional care for anxious children and their families. The creative, effective techniques you're learning about come from Aspire's team of specialized child therapists who work with anxious kids every day.
Madi is known for her playful, engaging approach to child therapy. She teaches techniques like "Blow Down the Tree" along with evidence-based strategies that help elementary-age children manage anxiety and build confidence. Parents love how Madi connects with their kids and makes therapy fun while still being effective.
Kristi, our Senior Clinical Team Lead, ensures every child receives high-quality, evidence-based care. Ashley brings expertise in helping children navigate anxiety related to trauma and life changes.
Together, the Aspire team serves families throughout Mid Missouri with therapy that combines clinical excellence with warmth and creativity.
