3 Mental Health Tips for Parents of Elementary Age Children
You want to support your child's mental health. You know it matters. But between work, homework, activities, and everything else on your plate, you're not sure where to start.
The good news? Supporting your elementary-age child's mental health doesn't require hours of therapy homework or complicated interventions. Three foundational practices make an enormous difference—and they're more about how you structure daily life than adding new tasks to your to-do list.
Understanding why mental health matters for elementary students includes knowing the practical steps you can take at home. These tips complement child counseling if your child is in therapy, but they're valuable for every family.
Tip #1: Create an Emotionally Safe Environment Where Kids Can Share Feelings
Children need to know that all feelings are acceptable in your home—even the hard ones.
What Emotional Safety Means
An emotionally safe environment is one where your child can:
Express feelings without being dismissed or minimized
Make mistakes without harsh criticism
Share problems without fear of punishment
Be themselves without judgment
Why This Matters for Mental Health
When children feel emotionally safe at home, they:
Develop emotional awareness and regulation skills
Are more likely to tell you when something's wrong
Build resilience because they know they have support
Learn that emotions are manageable, not dangerous
When they don't feel emotionally safe, they hide struggles, stuff feelings, or act out in ways that seem confusing.
How to Create Emotional Safety
Validate all feelings (even when you don't validate behavior):
Instead of: "Stop crying, you're fine." Try: "I can see you're really upset. It's okay to feel sad."
You can validate feelings while setting boundaries on behavior: "I understand you're angry. It's not okay to hit. Let's find another way to show that feeling."
Respond calmly to big emotions:
When your child has a meltdown, stay calm. Your calm presence teaches them that emotions aren't dangerous and that you can handle their feelings.
Share your own feelings appropriately:
Model emotional awareness: "I'm feeling frustrated about this traffic" or "I'm excited about our plans this weekend."
This teaches children that having feelings is normal and that you manage them in healthy ways.
Make time for connection:
Children share more when they feel connected. Daily one-on-one time—even just 10-15 minutes—creates space for them to open up.
Listen without immediately trying to fix:
When your child shares a problem, resist jumping to solutions. First, listen and validate. Then problem-solve together if needed.
Tip #2: Prioritize Play, Downtime, and Unstructured Time
Elementary-age children need time that isn't scheduled, structured, or screen-based.
Why Play and Downtime Matter
Play is how children process emotions:
Through play, children work through fears, practice social skills, and process difficult experiences. A child who plays out a scary scenario with toys is doing their own version of therapy.
Unstructured time builds creativity and problem-solving:
When children have to entertain themselves without screens or adult-directed activities, they develop imagination, resourcefulness, and independence.
Downtime allows nervous system regulation:
Constant stimulation and activity keep children's stress response activated. Quiet, unscheduled time lets their nervous system rest and reset.
Boredom teaches valuable skills:
Children who occasionally experience boredom learn to tolerate discomfort, generate their own ideas, and find internal motivation. These are crucial life skills.
The Cost of Overscheduling
Many elementary students are overscheduled with:
Multiple after-school activities
Extensive homework
Scheduled playdates
Enrichment programs
The result? Exhaustion, stress, reduced family time, and no space to just be a kid.
How to Prioritize Play and Downtime
Limit activities:
Choose one or two activities per child, not five. Build in at least one completely unscheduled day per week.
Protect free play time:
Ensure your child has time daily for unstructured play—indoors or outdoors, alone or with siblings, with toys or creative materials.
Create screen-free times:
Designate times when screens are off and children engage with physical play, books, art, or just daydreaming.
Resist the urge to fill every moment:
When your child says "I'm bored," resist immediately suggesting an activity. Sometimes the best response is "That's okay. You'll figure out something to do."
Model downtime:
Let your child see you reading, gardening, or relaxing—not always on your phone or rushing to the next task.
Tip #3: Stay Connected to Your Child's Inner World
You can't support your child's mental health if you don't know what's happening internally and at school.
Check In With Teachers Regularly
Teachers see your child in a different context than you do. Regular communication helps you notice changes early.
What to ask:
How is my child doing socially?
Any changes in behavior or mood?
How do they handle challenges or frustration?
Are they participating in class?
Don't wait for parent-teacher conferences. Brief check-ins via email every few weeks keep you informed.
Observe Changes in Your Child
Pay attention to shifts in:
Mood (more irritable, sad, or anxious than usual)
Behavior (acting out, withdrawing, regressing)
Sleep or appetite
Interest in activities they used to enjoy
Social connections (friend conflicts, isolation)
Changes don't always mean something's wrong, but they're worth exploring.
Create Space for Conversations
Daily check-ins:
Ask open-ended questions: "What was the best and worst part of your day?" or "Tell me about someone you played with today."
Avoid interrogation. Make it conversational.
Use car time:
The lack of eye contact in the car often makes kids more willing to talk.
Talk during activities:
Have conversations while doing something together—cooking, walking, playing a game. This feels less pressured than sitting face-to-face.
Listen for what's unsaid:
Sometimes what your child doesn't talk about is as important as what they do. If they suddenly stop mentioning a friend, there might be a reason.
Trust Your Gut
You know your child better than anyone. If something feels off, even if you can't pinpoint what, pay attention to that instinct.
Bonus: Knowing When Professional Help is Needed
These three tips support mental health at home, but sometimes professional help is necessary.
Signs Your Child Needs Therapy
Consider therapy for anxious children if:
Changes in mood or behavior persist more than a few weeks
Your child's functioning is impaired (school, friendships, daily activities)
They express thoughts of self-harm or extreme hopelessness
You've tried home strategies and they're not enough
Anxiety, sadness, or behavioral issues are getting worse
What Therapy Provides
Professional therapy offers:
Evidence-based treatment for mental health conditions
Skills training beyond what parents can teach
Processing of trauma or difficult experiences
Parent coaching specific to your child's needs
An objective, trained professional perspective
Finding Child Therapy in Columbia, MO
If your child needs more support than these three tips can provide, professional help is available.
At Aspire Counseling, we serve families throughout Columbia, Jefferson City, Lee's Summit, and all of Mid Missouri with specialized therapy for elementary-age children.
Our team understands that parents are busy. We work collaboratively with you to support your child's mental health without adding overwhelming homework or complexity to your life. We teach practical skills, involve you appropriately, and respect your family's time and energy.
We use evidence-based approaches for childhood anxiety, trauma, and emotional regulation challenges. Our goal isn't just to reduce symptoms—it's to help your child build skills they'll use throughout life.
Ready to support your child's mental health?
Call (573) 328-2288 to speak with our Client Care Specialist about how we can help your family
Learn about our child counseling services in Columbia, MO and throughout Missouri
Explore our specialized child anxiety therapy
These three tips—creating emotional safety, prioritizing play and downtime, and staying connected to your child's inner world—form the foundation of good mental health. Start here, and reach out for professional support if you need it.
About the Author
Jessica Oliver, MSW, LCSW is the founder and Clinical Director of Aspire Counseling, a specialized therapy practice serving children and families throughout Mid Missouri. Aspire's team of child therapists emphasizes creating emotionally healthy home environments and understands the crucial role of play and unstructured time in child development. With expertise in childhood anxiety, trauma, and emotional regulation, the Aspire team provides practical, evidence-based support that fits into real families' lives.
