Do Therapists Have Favorite Clients? An Honest Answer from a Missouri Therapist
If you've ever been in therapy, this question has probably crossed your mind. Maybe you wondered if your therapist likes working with you. Or perhaps you're curious whether some clients get better treatment than others. It's a completely natural question, and one that deserves an honest, thoughtful answer.
The truth is more nuanced than a simple yes or no. Let's break it down.
Do Therapists Actually Have Favorite Clients?
Most therapists genuinely care about all their clients and want to see each person succeed. However, therapists are human. Some therapeutic relationships naturally feel easier or more rewarding than others. The key is ensuring this doesn't impact the quality of care anyone receives.
Here's what we've learned after years of providing therapy in Missouri: the best outcomes happen when both the therapist and client feel good about working together. When there's a strong fit, everyone benefits.
At Aspire Counseling, we embrace this reality instead of pretending it doesn't exist. If one of our therapists doesn't feel like the right match for a client (for any reason-often it’s just that they think the client would benefit from a therapist with different training), we help that person find someone who is. This isn't about favorites—it's about ensuring every client gets the best possible care.
Many therapy practices assign clients to therapists and expect them to "make it work" regardless of fit. We do things differently. We believe every client deserves to work with a therapist who feels genuinely excited about helping them reach their goals.
What Makes Some Therapeutic Relationships Feel Different?
Several factors can make certain client relationships feel more natural or engaging for a therapist. Understanding these can help you find the right therapeutic fit for yourself.
Shared interests or backgrounds can create an initial sense of connection. A therapist who specializes in anxiety might feel particularly energized working with clients facing similar challenges they've helped others overcome successfully.
Communication styles matter too. Some clients prefer direct feedback, while others need more gentle guidance. When a therapist's natural style aligns with what a client needs, the work often flows more smoothly.
Progress in therapy and engagement also play a role. Clients who actively participate in therapy and show growth over time can feel especially rewarding to work with. But this doesn't mean clients who struggle more are less valued—sometimes they need a different therapeutic approach or a different therapist's expertise.
Do Therapists Think About Clients Outside of Sessions?
Yes, and this is actually a good thing. Therapists who care about their work naturally think about their clients between sessions. This might involve reflecting on treatment progress, considering new approaches, or simply hoping a client had a good week.
Some clients might cross a therapist's mind more frequently than others. This doesn't necessarily indicate favoritism. It might mean that client is going through a particularly challenging time, or the therapist is working through a complex treatment decision.
At Aspire Counseling, our therapists sometimes share these thoughts with clients when it's helpful and appropriate. Knowing your therapist has been thinking about your situation can feel validating and reassuring. It shows you matter beyond the therapy room.
How Does This Benefit You as a Client?
Understanding how therapeutic relationships work can actually help you get better care. When you know it's okay for fit to matter, you're more likely to speak up if something doesn't feel right.
Good therapy requires honesty from both sides. If you don't feel connected to your therapist or sense they're not fully engaged, that's important information. A skilled therapist will appreciate your feedback and work with you to address concerns or help you find someone better suited to your needs.
This is especially important for anxiety treatment and trauma therapy, where trust and safety in the therapeutic relationship are essential for healing.
Our approach at Aspire Counseling prioritizes this kind of honest communication. We'd rather help you find the right fit than continue with a relationship that isn't serving you well.
What This Means for Your Therapy Experience
The goal isn't for your therapist to like you the most. The goal is for your therapist to be genuinely invested in your healing and equipped to help you reach your goals.
When you work with a therapist who feels like a good fit, several things happen. You feel more comfortable being vulnerable. Your therapist brings their best skills and energy to your sessions. Progress often comes more naturally.
This is why we spend time during consultations getting to know potential clients and helping them understand our approach. We want to make sure we're setting up relationships that will be beneficial for everyone involved.
Whether you're wondering about how often you should attend therapy or what to expect in your first sessions, the most important thing is finding a therapist who makes you feel heard, understood, and hopeful about your path forward.
Building Strong Therapeutic Relationships
The foundation of effective therapy is a strong therapeutic relationship built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. This connection doesn't happen by accident—it develops when both therapist and client feel comfortable and engaged in the work together.
If you want to learn more about what makes therapy relationships work, we've written extensively about this topic. The power of therapeutic rapport and why feeling comfortable in therapy matters explores how that initial sense of connection impacts your healing journey.
We've also discussed what defines a healthy therapeutic relationship in counseling and what you should expect from this unique professional relationship.
For even more insight into the therapy process from a therapist's perspective, you might find it helpful to read about what I wish my clients knew. This post offers honest thoughts about common concerns and misconceptions that come up in therapy.
Understanding these dynamics can help you advocate for yourself in therapy and recognize when you've found the right therapeutic match.
Finding Your Right Fit at Aspire Counseling
Every person deserves therapy that feels supportive, effective, and personally meaningful. Our therapists in Lee's Summit and Columbia are trained in evidence-based approaches like EMDR, IFS, and ERP. But beyond their clinical skills, they're warm, genuine people who genuinely care about your wellbeing.
If you're ready to start therapy or wondering if your current therapeutic relationship is the right fit, we're here to help. We offer free consultations where you can get a sense of our approach and see if we might be a good match for your needs.
Contact Aspire Counseling today by calling 573-328-2288 or contact us online to take that next step toward healing. You deserve therapy that feels right for you.
About the Author Jessica Tappana Oliver, LCSW, founded Aspire Counseling to provide evidence-based, trauma-informed therapy throughout Missouri. She believes every person deserves compassionate care from a therapist who's genuinely invested in their healing journey.
