6 Strategies for Supporting High Achieving Teenagers

Parenting a teenager is always difficult. Parenting a high achieving teenager may be even more difficult. These children are often the kids who get straight A's, star on sports teams or otherwise stand out in their communities for being "different" from most other teens.

Some of the advice given to other parents may just not feel very applicable in your case and you may be left wondering, "But how do I support my high achieving teenager?" You're glad your child is talented in one or more areas. You're proud of their accomplishments. But it can still be difficult to know how best to parent them and help them grow into an adult that doesn't just survive but thrives in every area of their life-social, emotional, career, family, etc. In this blog post we're going to discuss seven strategies for supporting high achieving teenagers by examining:

7 Strategies for parents of high achieving teenagers.

Keep communication with your teenager open and frequent

Keep communication lines open with your teenager; let them know that you're always available if they need advice or want to talk about something tough. Remember not every conversation needs to be heavy but make sure you stay connected through regular check ins even when it feels like no news is good. The idea is that you're setting a foundation so both you and your teen are used to talking about everything. Then, it won't feel as intimidating or like it's a "big deal" when they have something really significant to talk to you about.

Don't expect perfection from your teen

Parents of high achieving teenagers have a tendency to want their kids to be perfect in all areas, not just academics or sports but social life and family life too. It's important for parents of these teens to understand that no one is perfect and some things are going to fall through the cracks while others may get done better than expected. This doesn't make it okay for children not treat other people with respect or carelessness on occasion but it does mean that we needn't see every slip up as end of the world material either because most often they really aren't!

Don't compare your high achieving teen to others without context

Understand they face different challenges than other kids in school or sports etc. So, comparing them to other teenagers their age may unintentionally cause your teenager more stress.

For example, if you compare your child who is a star of their football team to players who are even more talented, they may feel like they are underperforming even when this clearly isn't true. But if you compare them to other players they are actually outperforming, this may make them feel like there is a huge pressure to continue to perform in such a high way.

Be aware of signs that may indicate depression or anxiety in teenagers-especially high achieving ones.

Be aware of the signs of stress and help support your child as needed. Stress, anxiety or depression may not always be very obvious or may not present in the way you expect. For many high performing children who feel like they aren't "supposed" to struggle with anxiety and depression, they may start to experience more somatic or physical discomforts that they are more comfortable sharing with you. For example, they may complain to parents of headaches or be unable to sleep even when there is no reason for this. This could be a sign that they are experiencing more than just the typical stress of school, sports etc.

So it's important to be proactive and present with your teens. When you notice any unusual change, watch for signs of mental stress. Honestly, the best thing to do is just ask them how they're doing because you'd be surprised at what can come out when you give your teen an opportunity...especially if you've kept your lines of communication open like we discussed earlier.

Encourage healthy coping strategies

Encourage healthy coping strategies for your high achieving kids. Exercise, meditation and journaling are all great ways to help manage stress. Others may include spending time with friends and getting regular sleep. It may also be a great healthy strategy to have your teen try something new or get involved in a wider variety of hobbies. This way, their identity is less wrapped up in being the "best" student/athlete/singer.

Highlight the positive qualities you see in your teen rather than their success

Let them know you see all the hard work they do and how much effort it takes for them to achieve these results. Make sure they understand their successes are not just about raw talent but also a lot of blood, sweat and tears from working incredibly hard. Eventually, whatever they're excelling at may not come so easy to them and they need to know that they are more than that one thing.

For example, a star basketball player in high school may not get a scholarship or might experience a life changing injury. Or the gifted straight A student in high school may struggle to get into medical school down the road. When those things happen, your teen may worry about disappointing you (after all, they've always been the "best" in your eyes and now they aren't the "best") or may even start to wonder who they are as a person.

But if you start by highlighting the things about them as a human being-their personality traits-that you really value now, they'll be more resilient if they ever do find themselves no longer the "best" at something.

You Teen Needs Your Support

The tips we’ve discussed in this blog post can help you to identify and address some of the more common challenges that come with being a parent of a high performing teenager. Your teenager may look to the outside world like they need "less" from you than some other teenagers. But the truth is, your child may just have a different set of struggles than some others. It's important for parents to know how best to support their teens emotionally and mentally when they are struggling so that they can avoid these pitfalls or get back on track quickly if needed. We hope this has helped equip you with new insights about what it takes to raise an emotionally healthy child who will thrive in all areas of their life...now and as an adult!