Adult Children of Divorced Parents

Young children are full of wonder and awe and a lot of energy! They are also full of innocence, which is why it’s important that adults protect them from dangerous situations and unnecessary heartaches.

Unfortunately, that isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to divorce. Children of parents who decide to divorce can feel like their entire world has been turned upside down.

But how does divorce affect older children? What about if you are in college when your parents divorced or perhaps married with your own family? When the children in question are adults themselves, it’s assumed they’ll be unaffected by the news; that somehow because they flew out of the nest and no longer live under the same roof as their parents, they won’t feel their world has been turned upside down.

In the past, the effects of divorce on adult children were not discussed much, but that is now changing. Susan L. Brown, a sociology professor at Bowling Green State University, conducted a study that revealed the divorce rate among people 50 and older has doubled over the past 20 years.

The Effects on Older Children

While adults may be “older” in years, when it comes to child-parent dynamics, most of us never really grow up. We still need our moms and dads for support and we still need our moms and dads to love each other. What happens when that love goes away, or changes significantly?

We call everything we once believed into question.

The strength of our parents’ marriage is a big factor in shaping our young lives and minds. If their relationship wasn’t as strong as we thought it was, what does that mean about relationships in general? What else about our childhood that we thought was true is not true? And what does this mean about our own marriage and relationships? Our we destined to fail at it as well? Is splitting up somehow in our DNA?

For those adult children whose parents waited until they were grown before divorcing, they may now feel guilty that their parents were miserable for so many years on their behalf. Carrying this guilt around, whether justified or not, can feel overwhelming.

It is assumed that our parents will grow old together and take care of each other during their golden years. Once they split, then what happens? Who takes care of them? In many cases, that falls to, you guessed it, the adult children.

And what about the grandchildren? Not only do adult kids have to deal with their own grief and sadness, they also must help their children come to terms with the fact grandma and grandpa are divorcing.

Seek Guidance

If you’re an adult whose parents have split or are currently in the process of getting divorced and you’re having a hard time coping, don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. Age has nothing to do with feeling sad or lost.

The best thing you can do at a time like this is to speak with someone who can help you sort out your feelings. A family therapist can help you alleviate any guilt and angst you may feel and understand that history doesn’t have to repeat itself. You have the power to make different choices in your own life and relationships.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with us. We’d love to discuss how one of our caring therapists may be able to help you cope during this confusing and overwhelming time. Call us today at 573-328-2288 or send us a message.

Counseling for Divorce in Columbia, MO

If you are struggling to overcome the stress of being an adult child of divorce, please reach out to us to begin counseling in Columbia MO.  If you think you would benefit from working with a divorce therapist who focuses on loss and you live in the Columbia, MO area or Missouri for Online therapy.  Typically, Aspire Counseling therapists are ready to meet you to help with divorce counseling. To get started follow these simple steps:

1. Call 573-328-2288 or fill out our contact form.

2. Meet with one of our empathetic therapists for a free consultation.

3. Start finding peace from the effects of divorce.

Other Mental Health Services at Aspire Counseling 

Mindfulness and meditation for Mental Health Counseling is not the only service we offer at our Columbia, MO clinic. Other mental health services that Aspire Counseling provides include anxiety treatment, depression counseling, counseling for college students, counseling for caregivers, grief counseling, teen counseling, counseling for adults, LGBTQIA+ affirming counseling, DBT, trauma therapy for children and teens, counseling for sexual assault survivors, and online therapy.  Contact us today!