How Do I Help Myself Until I'm Ready for Therapy? Small Steps That Actually Work
You know you could probably benefit from therapy. You've thought about it. Maybe you've even looked up therapists in your area. But something's holding you back. Maybe it's timing, finances, fear of the unknown, or just not feeling quite ready.
That's okay. Really.
Taking time to feel ready isn't failure—it's a valid part of the process. And while you're deciding, there are meaningful things you can do to help yourself. These aren't replacements for therapy, but they're not nothing either. They're real steps that can make a real difference.
✦ Start Here: One Small Thing for Your Mental Health Today
Pick just ONE from this list to try today:
• Take a 10-minute walk outside
• Write down 3 things worrying you right now
• Set your phone to 'Do Not Disturb' for 1 hour
• Go to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight
Small actions build momentum. Start with one.
Is It Normal to Not Feel Ready for Therapy?
Completely normal. Most people don't wake up one day fully ready to start therapy. There's usually a period of thinking about it, researching, weighing pros and cons, and working up courage. This process is healthy. It means you're being thoughtful about a significant decision. You're not failing by taking your time—you're being human.
At Aspire Counseling, we regularly hear from people who spent months (or years) considering therapy before calling. Many of them wish they'd reached out sooner, but all of them came when they were ready. There's no 'right' timeline.
What matters is that you're not just waiting and suffering. You can use this time productively.
Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety That Actually Work
Several evidence-based strategies can help reduce anxiety symptoms without requiring a therapist. These work by calming your nervous system, interrupting negative thought patterns, or building resilience over time. Start with what feels manageable—you don't have to do everything at once.
Practice slow, deep breathing for 2-5 minutes daily. Apps like Calm or Insight Timer can guide you.
Limit caffeine and alcohol, both of which can amplify anxiety symptoms.
Move your body regularly. Even a 20-minute walk can reduce anxiety levels.
Establish a consistent sleep schedule. Anxiety and poor sleep feed each other.
Write down your worries. Getting them out of your head and onto paper can provide surprising relief.
Reduce news and social media consumption, especially before bed.
Spend time outside, particularly in green spaces. Nature has documented calming effects on the nervous system.
None of these are magic fixes. But practiced consistently, they create real changes in how your body handles stress. Think of them as building a foundation that will make future therapy work even better.
How Do I Know If My Self-Help Is Working?
Pay attention to small shifts rather than expecting dramatic transformation. You might notice you fall asleep a little easier. Or that your heart doesn't race quite as long after a stressful moment. Maybe you catch yourself worrying and are able to redirect your attention. These are signs of progress—even if they're subtle.
It can help to track your mood and anxiety levels over time. You don't need anything fancy—a 1-10 rating in your phone notes works fine. After a few weeks, look back and see if there's any pattern.
If things aren't improving after consistent effort, or if they're getting worse, that's valuable information too. It might be a sign that you could benefit from more support than self-help can provide. [INTERNAL LINK: Read about signs it might be time for professional support]
What If I Feel Guilty About Not Being in Therapy?
Let that guilt go. Guilt about not being in therapy is often anxiety wearing another mask. You're allowed to take time. You're allowed to feel uncertain. You're allowed to help yourself in the ways you can right now while you work toward being ready for more.
What's not helpful is using 'I'm not ready' as a reason to do nothing at all. If you're actively practicing self-care strategies and paying attention to your mental health, you're not avoiding the problem—you're engaging with it on your own terms.
Many people who eventually come to our Lee's Summit or Columbia offices started exactly where you are. They tried some things on their own, learned what helped, and eventually decided they wanted more. That's a completely valid path.
When Self-Help Isn't Enough: Signs to Reconsider
Self-help has limits. If any of the following are happening, it might be time to get professional support:
Your anxiety is getting worse despite your efforts.
You're avoiding more and more activities or situations.
Anxiety is significantly affecting your relationships, work, or daily functioning.
You're having thoughts of harming yourself or not wanting to be alive.
You've experienced a traumatic event and can't stop thinking about it.
Your coping strategies are becoming unhealthy (drinking more, isolating, etc.).
These signs don't mean you've failed. They mean you've reached the point where professional guidance would help. Therapists aren't judges—they're partners who can offer tools you might not find on your own.
A Note on Safety
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or you're not feeling safe, please reach out now—don't wait. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. These resources are free, confidential, and available anytime you need them.
Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Help for Anxiety
How do I know if I'm ready for therapy?
There's no perfect moment of 'readiness.' Most people feel somewhat nervous or uncertain when they first reach out. If you're thinking about it regularly, that's often a sign you're ready enough. You can always start with a consultation call to see how it feels before committing to anything.
Can self-help actually reduce anxiety?
Yes, for many people. Evidence-based strategies like regular exercise, good sleep hygiene, breathing exercises, and limiting caffeine can meaningfully reduce anxiety symptoms. That said, self-help works best for mild to moderate anxiety. More severe anxiety or anxiety rooted in trauma typically benefits from professional treatment.
What if I start therapy and decide it's not for me?
You can stop anytime. There's no contract or commitment. If after a few sessions you feel it's not helpful, you can take a break or try a different therapist. A good therapist won't pressure you to stay—they'll support whatever decision feels right for you.
How long should I try self-help before considering therapy?
There's no set timeline, but if you've been consistently practicing self-help strategies for 4-6 weeks without improvement, that's a reasonable point to consider additional support. Trust your gut—if you feel like you need more help, you probably do.
We're Here When You're Ready
When you're ready to take the next step, our team of experienced, compassionate, highly trained Missouri therapists are here. We believe in meeting people where they are—which is why we created this resource in the first place. Many of our clients started exactly where you are now, trying things on their own and building up to reaching out. We've helped thousands of Missourians move from managing anxiety alone to finding real, lasting relief with professional support. There's no timeline, and there's no judgment for taking your time. We have counseling offices in Lee's Summit and Columbia, and we offer telehealth throughout Missouri.
You can call us at (816) 287-1116 (for Lee's Summit) or (573) 328-2288 (for Columbia) to talk with our intake team and find a therapist who fits your needs. No pressure, no judgment—just compassionate support when you're ready.
About the Author
Jessica Oliver, LCSW, is the founder and Clinical Director of Aspire Counseling, a Missouri counseling practice specializing in anxiety treatment, OCD treatment and trauma therapy. She believes in meeting people where they are—which sometimes means supporting them while they're still deciding about therapy. Jessica has spent years helping anxious Missourians find relief, whether through evidence-based therapy or by providing resources and guidance for those working on things at their own pace. She founded Aspire Counseling to create a practice that feels accessible and human, where people can reach out whenever they're ready without feeling judged for the time it took to get there.
