Questions to Ask Your Child’s Therapist

Navigating your child's mental health journey can feel overwhelming. Whether your family is dealing with anxiety, trauma, school struggles, or behavior changes, you want the best support for your child. And a big part of that? Engaging with your child's therapist.

As a parent, you're not just dropping your kid off and hoping for the best. You're part of this process. Asking the right questions helps you understand what's happening in therapy, what you can do at home, and whether this therapist is truly the right fit.

This guide will walk you through the questions that matter most—so you can be an active, informed participant in your child's healing.

Why Communication with Your Child's Therapist Matters

Open communication with your child's therapist builds a bridge of support. It ensures everyone is working toward the same goals for your child. And research shows that when parents are involved in their child's therapy, outcomes improve.

Here at Aspire Counseling, we believe parents play a vital role in the therapeutic process. Whether you're bringing your child to our Columbia office to work with Madi or our Lee's Summit location to see Ashley, we want you to feel like a partner—not a bystander.

Staying in communication with your child's therapist helps you:

• Understand the therapy goals and strategies being used

• Monitor your child's progress (and recognize setbacks early)

• Learn how to support the work at home

• Address concerns or questions as they come up

Building this communication pathway nurtures trust and transparency. Your involvement is crucial to your child's path toward healing and growth.

Preparing for the First Session: What to Know

Before attending the first therapy session, take some time to prepare. This helps ease anxieties—both yours and your child's—and sets clear intentions for the work ahead.

Start by gathering any relevant information about your child's experiences and behaviors. Think about when you first noticed something was off, what seems to trigger difficult moments, and what you've already tried.

It also helps to know a bit about the therapist's approach before you walk in. At Aspire Counseling, our child therapists in Columbia and Lee's Summit use evidence-based methods like Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT), play therapy, and DBT skills—approaches that have been proven to help kids and teens with anxiety, trauma, and emotional regulation.

Here are some steps to help you prepare:

• Talk with your child about what therapy will involve (in age-appropriate terms)

• Jot down key concerns and questions you want to ask

• Reassure your child that therapy is a safe space—not a punishment

• If your child is nervous, let them know it's okay to feel that way

Preparing in advance makes the initial session more productive. It helps both you and your child feel more empowered from the start.

Questions to Ask About the Therapist's Approach and Experience

Not all therapists are the same—and that's a good thing. Different kids need different approaches. Asking the right questions helps you understand whether this therapist's style is a good match for your child.

Here are some key questions to consider:

• What therapeutic approach do you use with children and teens?

• Do you have experience working with kids who have similar concerns to my child's?

• What training and certifications do you have for working with children?

• How do you typically involve parents in the therapy process?

• How will I know if therapy is working?

At Aspire Counseling, we're happy to answer all of these questions during a free consultation. Our child and teen therapists—like Madi in Columbia and Ashley in Lee's Summit—have specialized training in working with young people. Ashley, for example, has extensive experience in both inpatient and outpatient settings working with teens facing trauma, anxiety, and high-risk behaviors. Madi specializes in helping elementary-age children work through anxiety and trauma using play-based and TF-CBT approaches.

These questions help you assess fit. Knowing your child's therapist has relevant experience builds confidence in the treatment plan.

Understanding Therapy Goals and Progress

Understanding the goals of therapy is essential for tracking your child's progress. Goals give everyone—you, your child, and the therapist—a shared roadmap.

This conversation should happen early in the process. Knowing what to expect helps ease your worries and sets realistic expectations for the journey ahead.

Consider asking:

• What are the short-term and long-term therapy goals for my child?

• How will we measure progress toward these goals?

• What signs should I look for that indicate things are improving?

• What might setbacks look like, and how will we handle them?

At Aspire Counseling, we use measurement-based care to track progress. This means we're not just guessing whether therapy is helping—we're actually measuring it. Regular check-ins with parents are part of how we work, because we believe you deserve to know what's happening and why.

Don't forget to celebrate small victories along the way. Progress in therapy isn't always linear, but every step forward matters.

Confidentiality, Privacy, and Your Role as a Parent

Understanding confidentiality in therapy can feel tricky—especially with kids and teens. Your child needs to feel safe sharing openly with their therapist. But as a parent, you also need to know enough to support them.

Here's the balance: therapy works best when your child trusts that what they share stays private. At the same time, therapists will loop you in on the important stuff—patterns they're noticing, skills your child is learning, and how you can help at home.

Consider asking:

• How is my child's privacy protected during sessions?

• What kind of information will you share with me about sessions?

• How can I support my child's therapy while respecting their need for privacy?

• What would cause you to break confidentiality? (Safety concerns, for example)

These questions help you understand your role as a supportive parent without crossing boundaries that could undermine the therapeutic relationship. Our therapists at both our Columbia and Lee's Summit offices are experienced at navigating this balance with Missouri families.

Supporting Your Child at Home and Beyond

What happens between sessions matters just as much as what happens in the therapy room. Your support at home reinforces the progress your child is making.

Ask your child's therapist what coping strategies they're learning in session—and how you can encourage practice at home. Consistency helps build resilience and confidence.

Here are practical ways to offer support:

• Encourage open conversations about feelings (without pushing)

• Create a calm, predictable home environment when possible

• Celebrate progress—even the small stuff

• Practice patience. Healing takes time.

• Model healthy coping yourself (kids notice!)

One of our Columbia child therapists, Madi, loves teaching kids a simple breathing technique she calls "blow down the tree." It's a skill kids can use anywhere—at school, before bed, during a tough moment. Ask your child's therapist what skills they're working on so you can reinforce them at home.

Stay proactive and involved. Your role is vital in bridging the gap between therapy and real-life experiences.

Navigating Challenges and Addressing Concerns

Challenges in therapy can come up unexpectedly. Maybe your child resists going to sessions. Maybe you're not seeing the progress you hoped for. Maybe something about the approach doesn't feel right.

When this happens, the most important thing is to speak up. A good therapist welcomes your feedback and wants to work with you to find solutions.

Consider these steps when addressing concerns with a child or teen therapist:

• Talk openly with the therapist about what you're observing

• Ask whether the current approach still makes sense for your child's needs

• Stay open to adjustments in strategies or goals

• Trust your gut—you know your child better than anyone

Addressing concerns is a normal part of the therapeutic process. It doesn't mean something is wrong; it means you're paying attention. At Aspire Counseling, we'd rather you bring concerns to us than silently wonder if therapy is working.

When to Re-Evaluate or Change Therapists

Sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, a therapist just isn't the right fit. That's okay. It doesn't mean therapy doesn't work—it means your child might need a different approach or a different connection.

Consider re-evaluating if:

• Your child consistently dreads sessions with no improvement over time

• You feel dismissed or unheard when you raise concerns

• Progress has completely stalled for an extended period

• The therapist's approach doesn't align with your family's values

• Your child has outgrown the therapist's specialty (for example, they've aged out of a play therapy focus)

Changing therapists can feel daunting, but it's sometimes the best decision for your child. The right fit is crucial for meaningful healing. If you're in Mid-Missouri or the Kansas City area and considering a change, we're happy to talk through whether Aspire Counseling might be a good match.

Final Thoughts: Building a Collaborative Relationship with Your Child’s Therapist

Finding the right therapist for your child—and building a strong working relationship with them—takes effort. But it's worth it.

When you and your child's therapist are working together, your child feels supported from all sides. They see that the adults in their life are on the same team, rooting for them. That sense of safety and collaboration makes therapy more effective.

Ask questions. Share your observations. Celebrate the wins. And don't be afraid to speak up when something doesn't feel right.

Your involvement demonstrates your commitment to your child's mental health journey. It paves the way for resilience, growth, and healing—not just in therapy, but in life.

Ready to Find the Right Therapist for Your Child?

At Aspire Counseling, we offer free consultations so you can ask questions, share your concerns, and see if we're the right fit for your family—before committing to anything.

Columbia & Mid-Missouri: Call (573) 328-2288 to get connected with one of our child therapists in Columbia such as Madi or Kristi.

Lee's Summit & Kansas City Area: Call (816) 287-1116 to connect with one of our Lee’s Summit therapists who specialize in working with children and teens such as Ashley.

Or visit aspirecounselingmo.com/contact-aspire-counseling to get more information from our Client Care team. They will take the time to really get to know what you’re looking for, share information about Aspire Counseling & make sure you’re getting connected with the right person.

About the Author

Jessica Oliver, MSW, LCSW is the founder and Clinical Director of Aspire Counseling, a trauma- and anxiety-focused therapy practice she established in 2017. With offices in Columbia and Lee's Summit, Missouri—plus telehealth services throughout Missouri—Aspire Counseling has helped hundreds of Missouri families navigate their children's mental health journeys.

Jessica is committed to hiring clinicians who share her dedication to evidence-based, compassionate care. Our child and teen therapists are trained in proven approaches including Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and play-based interventions—because we believe every child deserves therapy that actually works.

As a mother herself, Jessica understands the worry that comes with watching your child struggle. "Finding the right therapist for your child can feel overwhelming," she says. "But asking good questions—and trusting your gut—makes all the difference. You know your child better than anyone."