Why Is This Happening to Me? Understanding Why Anxiety Feels So Physical
You've tried everything. Deep breaths. Positive thinking. Telling yourself to 'just relax.' But the anxiety keeps coming back. At some point, you've probably wondered: Why is this happening to me?
It's a fair question. Maybe you look around and see other people handling stress just fine. Your coworker takes things in stride. Your spouse sleeps soundly. Meanwhile, you're lying awake at 3 a.m. in your Blue Springs home, heart pounding over something that happened six hours ago.
If this sounds familiar, there's something important you should know: nothing is wrong with you. What you're experiencing has an explanation—and understanding it is the first step toward feeling better.
✦ Quick Check-In With Your Body (30 Seconds)
Pause and notice:
• Where are you holding tension right now?
• Is your jaw clenched? Shoulders raised?
• Is your breathing shallow or deep?
• Just noticing—without judging—starts to shift things.
Why Does Anxiety Feel So Physical?
Anxiety feels physical because it is physical. Your nervous system—the body's communication network—responds to perceived threats by preparing you to fight or run. This triggers real changes in your body: faster heartbeat, shallow breathing, muscle tension, sweating, and digestive upset. Your brain doesn't distinguish between a tiger and a difficult email. It responds to both as threats.
This system is called your autonomic nervous system. It runs automatically, without your conscious control. When it senses danger, it shifts into 'sympathetic mode'—the famous fight-or-flight response.
The problem? Modern life is full of low-grade stressors that keep this system activated. Traffic on I-70 during your commute. Work deadlines. Financial worries. Family tension. Your nervous system treats all of these as potential threats, keeping you in a constant state of alert.
Is Something Wrong With My Brain?
No. Your brain is actually working exactly as designed. The part of your brain responsible for detecting threats—the amygdala—is doing its job. It's scanning your environment for danger and sounding the alarm when it perceives any. The challenge is that this ancient system wasn't designed for modern stressors like work emails, social comparison, or 24/7 news cycles.
Think of your amygdala like an overly sensitive smoke detector. It's better at detecting potential threats than ignoring false alarms. For our ancestors, this made sense—better to run from a shadow that might be a predator than to ignore a real one.
In modern life, though, this means your alarm goes off for things that aren't actually dangerous. Your body responds the same way whether you're being chased by a bear or anticipating a tough conversation with your boss.
Why Do I Feel Stuck Even When I'm Trying My Hardest?
Feeling stuck happens because willpower alone can't override your nervous system. When your body is in survival mode, the logical, planning part of your brain—the prefrontal cortex—goes partially offline. This is why anxiety often feels 'irrational.' You know logically that everything is fine, but your body disagrees. You can't think your way out of a biological response.
Many people I see at our Lee's Summit office have been fighting this battle for years. They're smart, capable, successful people who feel frustrated that anxiety still affects them. The missing piece is usually understanding that anxiety isn't a thinking problem—it's a nervous system problem.
Once you understand this, everything changes. You stop blaming yourself for 'not being strong enough.' You start working with your body instead of against it.
Physical Symptoms of Anxiety: What's Really Happening
When your nervous system detects a threat, it triggers a cascade of physical changes. Understanding these can help you recognize anxiety for what it is—a protective response, not a sign that something terrible is happening. Here's what's actually going on:
Your heart beats faster to pump blood to your muscles, preparing you to run or fight.
Your breathing becomes shallow and rapid to take in more oxygen quickly.
Your muscles tense, especially in your shoulders, neck, and jaw.
Digestion slows or stops, which can cause nausea or stomach upset.
Your pupils dilate to take in more visual information.
You might sweat to cool your body in anticipation of physical exertion.
Blood flow shifts away from your hands and feet toward your core organs.
Every symptom of anxiety makes sense when you understand it as your body preparing to survive a threat. Cold hands? Blood rushing to your vital organs. Racing thoughts? Your brain scanning for danger. These aren't malfunctions—they're features of a system designed to keep you alive.
Can I Actually Change How My Nervous System Responds?
Yes. This is the best news about anxiety: your nervous system can learn new patterns. With the right approaches, you can teach your body to return to calm more easily, feel safe more often, and recover from stress faster. This isn't positive thinking or wishful hoping—it's backed by neuroscience and decades of clinical research.
Evidence-based therapies like EMDR, CPT, and somatic approaches work directly with your nervous system. They help rewire the connections between your threat-detection system and your calming system. Over time, your baseline shifts. You become more resilient. [INTERNAL LINK: Learn how EMDR therapy works]
Many of our clients from across the Kansas City metro—Johnson County, Independence, Liberty—report that after treatment, they feel like a different person. Not because they've changed who they are, but because their nervous system finally learned it was safe to relax.
Frequently Asked Questions About Anxiety and Your Body
Is my anxiety genetic?
Genetics can play a role in anxiety, but they're not destiny. Research suggests that about 30-40% of anxiety risk is heritable. However, even if you have a genetic predisposition, your environment, experiences, and coping strategies significantly influence whether and how anxiety shows up. The good news: therapy works regardless of your genetic makeup.
Can anxiety cause real physical pain?
Absolutely. Chronic muscle tension from anxiety can cause headaches, neck pain, back pain, and jaw pain (TMJ). Anxiety can also cause stomach pain, chest tightness, and other uncomfortable sensations. These aren't 'imagined'—they're real physical effects of your nervous system being in overdrive. Treating the anxiety often reduces or eliminates these symptoms.
Will my nervous system ever go back to normal?
Yes. Your nervous system is designed to be flexible—this is called neuroplasticity. With the right support and consistent practice, you can retrain your nervous system to return to a calmer baseline. Many people who complete evidence-based treatment report feeling 'normal' for the first time in years, or even discovering a new normal that's better than before.
Why do I feel anxious even when nothing bad is happening?
This happens because your nervous system can get 'stuck' in threat-detection mode. Past experiences—especially stressful or traumatic ones—can calibrate your alarm system to be hypervigilant. Your body learned that danger could come at any time, so it stays on alert even during objectively safe moments. Therapy helps recalibrate this system.
Find Anxiety Treatment That Works With Your Body
When you're ready to take the next step, our team of experienced, compassionate, highly trained Missouri therapists are here. We specialize in helping people understand what's happening in their nervous system—and more importantly, how to change it. Our therapists are trained in EMDR, polyvagal-informed approaches, and other evidence-based methods that work with your biology, not against it. Understanding why anxiety happens is where we start; helping you feel genuinely better is where we're headed. We have counseling offices in Lee's Summit and Columbia, and we offer telehealth throughout Missouri.
You can call us at (816) 287-1116 (for Lee's Summit) or (573) 328-2288 (for Columbia) to talk with our intake team and find a therapist who fits your needs. No pressure, no judgment—just compassionate support when you're ready.
Related Blog Posts About Anxiety on Our Site
Can Anxiety Cause Real Physical Pain? What Therapists Want You to Know
What Is Polyvagal Theory? A Simple Guide to Understanding Your Nervous System
Grounding Techniques: 12 Simple Ways to Stay Present When Anxiety Takes Over
Panic Attacks Before Presentations: What Missouri Professionals Need to Know
EMDR Therapy: Answers to Common Questions from a Missouri Therapist
The Butterfly Hug: Resourcing & Bilateral Stimulation in EMDR
About the Author
Jessica Oliver, LCSW, is the founder and Clinical Director of Aspire Counseling, a private practice that specializes in treating anxiety, OCD & trauma. She has spent years studying how the nervous system creates anxiety symptoms and how targeted therapy can create lasting change. Trained in EMDR, Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), and polyvagal-informed approaches, Jessica brings both clinical expertise and genuine compassion to helping clients understand what's happening in their bodies. She believes that knowledge is power—and that understanding your anxiety is the first step toward freedom from it.
