What is IFS? A KC Area Therapist Explains Internal Family Systems
IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a therapy model that was developed in the 80’s by Richard Schwartz. In the last 10 or so years it has exploded in popularity and is becoming much more broadly known.
The name of Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be confusing to some people. It is more of an individual therapy model and not a family model. It can be used with families but really thrives when doing individual work.
What Does “Internal Family” Mean in IFS?
The family system comes from an understanding that our consciousness is not a unified whole and is the result of many interlocking and interacting parts. In IFS we treat these parts as a family, and we use family therapy techniques to help keep all these different parts organized and enact change. If you need a visualization, think of the movie Inside Out and you’ll be well on your way.
Why is it Helpful to Understand Your Parts?
This core idea from IFS—the idea that you’re made up of different Parts—is incredibly helpful in the therapy process. Problems or emotions become much more manageable when we can understand them as just a part of you that does that, instead of all of you.
Your confusing contradictions start to make sense when you can see one part of you is in conflict with another part of you. The healthy part of you who wants a salad for lunch fighting the part of you who wants to be soothed with ice cream and cookies.
When we get to know these different Parts, it becomes easier to approach them with compassion, instead of frustration or shame.
What Is Self-Energy in IFS?
The other aspect of IFS that is unique and helpful in the therapy process is the concept of Self-Energy.
In IFS, we believe that everyone has the ability to contact Self-Energy. This belief is crucial, in that we believe no one is inherently broken and everyone has the capacity to heal.
This aligns well with other trauma-informed therapy models. We don’t view you as someone who is the problem. We understand that your Parts are doing their best to protect you based on what has happened to you.
When those Parts are stuck in protection mode, it can be hard to access your Self. But when Parts start to understand their role—and begin to believe that things can actually get better—they start to relax. In IFS we believe that our parts started taking a stand in response to things that have happened to us, and their activity makes Self-Energy hard to access.
By helping our parts understand their role in the system and help them hope that things can get better, they relax, self-energy becomes available and healing takes place. When our parts clearly understand their role? That’s when Self-Energy becomes more available. And that’s when healing begins.
How Do You Know If You’re in Self-Energy?
So, what is Self-Energy? I consider it to be the present moment awareness that we all can tap into.
IFS gives us a list of qualities called the 8 Cs to help us know when the Self is present. These include:
Calm
Curious
Compassion
Clarity
Connectedness
Confidence
Courage
Creativity
These are just guides and aren’t written in stone. The idea here is that when our parts, who often don’t embody these Cs, learn to relax and we become attuned to the present moment, we find that these attributes are simply available. For some, this may be a struggle to accept, but I’ve seen it happen many times. When we attend to all our parts being active and they agree to settle down for a moment, everyone has a natural compassion they can access. In other words, When we help the active Parts relax and give space to Self, most people find a deep well of compassion they didn’t know was there.
How Does IFS Therapy Use These Ideas for Healing?
IFS as a therapy uses these concepts to help clients help themselves and become the leader in their life.
First, we engage with our parts to help them relax. This makes room for Self-Energy to emerge. From there, we use that energy to support and heal the wounds that parts have acquired in the past.
This healing makes even more room for Self-Energy which can progressively help the person develop a consistent level of calm and centered feeling about their lives.
Begin IFS Therapy in Lee’s Summit
If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or at odds with yourself, it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It may just mean your Parts are working hard—maybe too hard—and they need a little help to feel safe again.
IFS therapy isn’t about pushing you to be someone else. It’s about helping you reconnect with who you’ve always been. That calm, clear, compassionate Self is already inside you. Sometimes it just takes a little guidance to find your way back to it.
If this way of working resonates with you, I’m here to work with you. At Aspire Counseling in Lee’s Summit, we offer IFS therapy for adults who are ready to slow down, listen inward, and begin healing in a way that honors every part of who they are.
You don’t have to figure it all out before reaching out. That first step can be as simple as scheduling a consultation. We’ll take it from there—together.
About the Author
Adam White is a licensed counselor with over five years of experience supporting clients in the Kansas City, Missouri area. He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, and trauma, and uses evidence-based approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help clients reconnect with their inner calm, develop greater self-understanding, and heal from within.
At Aspire Counseling, he is committed to providing compassionate, expert care—both in-person at our Lee’s Summit office and through secure online therapy for clients across Missouri.
